"The muses do not welcome novices, but simply open the door and silently point at the tightrope."
That's a quote from, I think, Jean Cocteau. But whoever said it didn't mention that the sisters, once they've got you up there, won't let you down without a really scary fall. Which is a way of asking myself, can I be happy, without...
There are times when the thought is as alien to me as life 
without sunshine.
But, one of the things that's got me in this loop which I'm trying to break out of is that I've defined the things that might make me happy through such a small window. Such a small, terribly, terribly unlikely window.
And maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if I couldn't just see it.
By which of course, I mean, see them.
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