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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

When the sun shines they slip into the shade and...

Trivia question, Beatles fans. What was groundbreaking about the May '66 single "Paperback Writer/Rain?" Besides the backwards vocals on "Rain," which is not what I'm looking for, cool though they are.

What you gonna do when it all cracks up?



What you gonna do when things go wrong?
What you gonna do when it all cracks up?
What you gonna do when the Love burns down?
What you gonna do when the flames go up?
Who is gonna come and turn the tide?
What's it gonna take to make a dream survive?
Who's got the touch to calm the storm inside?
Who's gonna save you?

-Simple Minds

Well some of the crowd are on the pitch...

I'm planning to attend a forum this Sunday on "Pitching to Agents." It'll be my first time at such an event. I know that a few of you who read my blog are writers ranging from the still-fledgling like myself to the actually published.

So on the theory that it's better to ask a stupid question than to make a stupid mistake, I thought I'd ask: Have any of you ever been to an event like this, and if so, can you tell me what to expect? In terms of what, if anything, I should bring or what I should be prepared to do, etc?

I'm going there with the possibility of being able to make a five-minute pitch to an agent. But that's not definite-writers will be chosen to pitch, by lottery, after the agents speak. I think I'm prepared to make a verbal pitch if "my number comes up".

But would it be a good idea to have sample chapters or a synopsis on hand? Or would that just mark me out as unprofessional?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The real terror.

"Daily Show" watchers among you...did anyone else notice the scariest thing about the segment tonight with the bigots running pig races outside the mosque? When the correspondent was interviewing people at the race, you could hear music in the background.

It was, clearly, "The Macarena."

In 2007.

Horrible.

Savage but not smart

On Media Matters:
On the February 26 broadcast of his nationally syndicated radio show, after playing an audio clip of the beginning of singer Melissa Etheridge's acceptance speech at the Academy Awards in which she thanked her wife and four children, Michael Savage said: "I don't like a woman married to a woman. It makes me want to puke. ... I want to vomit when I hear it. I think it's child abuse." Savage later similarly stated: "I want to puke when I hear about a woman married to a woman raising children because, frankly, I think that it's child abuse to do that to children without their permission. What does a child know? Ask them when they're 16 whether they want to be raised by two lesbians or two men," adding: "What are the two men doing behind the other wall? You think the children don't hear it?"


A choice of replies (with kibitzing from the usual suspects):

One...Yes, let's ask your average 16-year-old boy if he wants to live with two lesbians.

(Colley: Well, it depends on who the two lesbians are...)

(Keitha & Annabel: Hey!)

Two...you think children don't hear it when men and women have sex? When my old friend Marco Pecenco's mom was dating the man who later became his stepfather...well, he used to say at times he was tempted to pound the wall and say Knock it off! I'm a kid, for Christ's sake...

I like this story

Sad though it is.


A classical music producer in Britain has admitted to deception by passing off recordings by famous pianists as the work of his late wife who, he said, wanted to end her cancer-ridden life "on a high note."

The confession by William Barrington-Coupe that he released other musicians' recordings under the name of his pianist wife, Joyce Hatto, has shocked the classical music world.



"What I've done is completely wrong, but I didn't go in for wholehearted piracy. It wasn't a question of putting other people's performances out but covering little, involuntarily noises. She had so much pain," Barrington-Coupe said in a letter to recording company BIS records published Tuesday.



Barrington-Coupe, who was sentenced for tax evasion in 1966, has said he was not motivated by money and had made a "thumping great loss" after selling just 8,500 Hatto CD's.



Michael Spring, sales manager of Hyperion Records, some of whose recordings were published as Hatto's, said: "I feel we should do something, although it will cost a lot of money to bring him to court. We need to get a list of all the recordings he's pirated."

Read the whole item.

You can call me an old softy, but I find his actions incredibly sad, romantic and sweet. I think the copyright holders of the original recordings should get a fair share of any future monies they bring in, but beyond that no action should be taken.

Apart from the potential (but inappropriate) double-meaning of the word "closet"

...this is pretty accurate.

Ben Hecht:

The sad thing about writing fiction is that unless one writes classics one writes in a closet. Nothing can disappear like a book. The characters I made up are still alive...but in the closet always. Like all writers who have tried hard, I dream sometimes that the closet door will open.
-A Child of the Century (1954)

To shock and surprise of all...

...the Van Halen reunion with David Lee Roth is off. As I say, I'm not exactly surprised, but I suppose I am just the teensiest bit disappointed. Van Halen used to be so fun when David Lee Roth was with them. Then they got Sammy Hagar and all the fun went away.

Hagar may have his fans as a singer, but I'm talking fun. David Lee Roth was everything you want a rock n roll singer to be: Kind of stupid, frankly a bit sexist, a little childish, and loudmouthed.

But you didn't care about the loudmouthed part because he was so imminently quotable:

"The bad news is, we've lost our way. The good news is, we're way ahead of schedule!"

Sigh. Them there those were the days, my friends. Those were the days.

Pink loses her "sexiest woman in the world" title

At least as far as I'm concerned, and that's all we're really concerned with around here. I like my sexy women with just a few more curves and bounce.



Besides, I gave her the title, I can take it away.

Recommended Recommended Reading

In recommending an article by Glenn Greenwald about Joe Lieberman, Mark Evanier makes a pretty good point or two himself. Excerpts follow...

Here's Greenwald:
The reason our mission in Iraq has proven to be so disastrous and corrupt is very simple -- the advocates and architects of that war are completely corrupt, inept, and deceitful. Recognizing this fact and ceasing to accord people like this respect and credibility is infinitely more important than any specific debates over particular policy or strategic questions. Everywhere Joe Lieberman goes, he should be asked by journalists why anyone should listen to anything he says, or believe anything he says, in light of his history of deceitful statements and tragically wrong assertions...

And Mark:
What I'd love to find, and I mean this, is a solid "how we'll win in Iraq" article by someone who hasn't changed their rationales more often than their boxer shorts or panty-liners. My problem with a lot of the pro-war advocates is that they keep futzing with the rules, moving the goalposts each time they fail to complete a pass. It's like when Cheney said that the British troop withdrawal was a marker of success. You know that if Great Britain had pledged not to withdraw those troops, he would have said that was a marker of success. No matter what happens, they say that it's what's supposed to happen. The claim is made that everyone needs to be quiet and not question the strategy for six months. And then when things are worse in six months, they'll be saying everyone needs to be quiet and not question the strategy for another six months, followed by another six months and then another and another.

...but you should probably read at least the Greenwald in full (sorry, Mark).

Monday, February 26, 2007

The swan's escaped

This is the trailer for the new film by the makers of the brilliant daddy cool movie Shaun of the Dead and TV series Spaced.



I'm looking forward to this film inordinately, like a dog looking forward to getting its head skritched.

This trailer also contains a monkey. In keeping with my theme this week.

Oh yes...

One more thing about the Oscars. When Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst walked out on stage, the orchestra played the theme from the '60s Spider-Man cartoon series (Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man).

What does that say about Danny Elfman's failure to write a good, original theme for Spider-Man (after two tries)?

Singles remind me of kisses, albums remind me of plans

Given a chance to vote for my 10 favourite albums of all time, this is what I came up up with.

Electric Landlady by Kirsty MacColl
Blaze of Glory by Joe Jackson
Actually by Pet Shop Boys
Dare by The Human League
This Is the Day...This Is the Hour...This Is This! by Pop Will Eat Itself
Into The Gap by Thompson Twins
The Pacific Age by OMD
The Lexicon of Love by ABC
Drive by Peplab
The Happiest Days of Our Lives by My Favorite

Their stipulation that there should be no live albums or compilations was a bit of a stumbling block on one or two of them. As was my own choice to limit myself to one album per artist/band/composer.

For example, Electric Landlady is in a very close race with Kite as my favorite Kirsty MacColl album, but I decided to be loyal to my first. My favorite Joe Jackson album is probably his two-disc live set.

Actually shouldn't be as cohesive as it is, given the number of producers, but it is. Dare, Gap, and Lexicon are the three great electro-pop albums of the early-to-mid '80s. And Peplab, somewhat to my surprise, may be the album I've most listened to after reviewing in the past couple of years.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

That was the worst damn Oscar show I have ever seen

And I'm old enough to remember the great "Rob Lowe sings!" debacle of 1988. This was a lot like watching an episode of The L Word. And I don't mean because of all the lesbians. I mean because the ladies looked great (see below), but it was a show best enjoyed on mute.

Having little or no investment in most of the nominees this year (like most of America, I haven't seen most of the films), I could only judge the show as an entertainment unto itself. And oh, my God.

At first I thought, what fool decided to put all the "minor" awards first? Then they got to the "major" awards, and I was longing to see someone I'd never heard of thank people I'll never know.

Observation: All Melissa Etheridge songs sound alike. It is therefore inconceivable that anyone really likes them. So her victory was an even bigger "we're going to show the world we care" vote than the Dixie Chicks five wins at the Grammys.

At least their songs are good. As is this one, which comes to mind for no particular reason:

Getting my facts from a Benetton ad
Lookin' thru African eyes
Lit by the glare of an L.A. fire...

-David Bowie, "Black Tie/White Noise"


I don't know about you, but four hours of Hollywood slapping itself on the back is hard enough to watch when movies like Toy Story 2 are the nominees. When the nominated films are such that a bunch of actors (who, as a rule, shouldn't talk) feel encouraged to wax profound...oh, boy...easy, stomach. Don't turn over.

Let me just get one other thing out of the way. You're going to be seeing a lot of blog posts, etc, using the words "Marty" and "finally." While I wish Scorsese no ill will, I've always hated the insinuation that it was some sort of injustice, or he'd been "overlooked" before this because he hadn't won.

Anyone lucky enough to be making a living wage or better in Hollywood has no right to complain. About anything. Period. Ever.

On a related matter, to Jerry Seinfeld: It is not funny when a multi-millionaire complains to a room largely full of other multi-millionaires about being asked to think about someone else once in a while. Or when he whines about the cost of Junior Mints at the movies.

And I've accepted the fact that I'm never getting rid of Seinfeld as long as anyone else has a TV, but can Jack Black's 15 minutes pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease be over soon?

Moving on, I admit I was only rooting for Peter O'Toole because I wanted to hear the speech. He has little more right to complain than Scorcese did, but if he's disappointed, I hope he takes solace at least in the knowledge that he's Peter O'Toole...and his fellow nominees are not.

No, I can't believe I just referenced Chevy Chase in writing about Peter O'Toole either, but there it is.

And now for our first great-looking lady of the show tonight, Gwyneth Paltrow:




Oh, by the way, why I want to be Tom Hanks:


[Anne] Hathaway approached and asked him, "I don't know you, but can I hug you?"

Obviously that's Anne to the left. Below we have Naomi Watts...


...and Maggie Gyllenhaal.


A few words about Ellen DeGeneres' fashion sense. It's not like anyone was expecting her to wear a figure-clinging gown (like Jessica Biel, left). But can we agree that Jon Pertwee, 1973, is not a good model?

And finally, on behalf of all writers everywhere, I want to thank Best Original Screenplay winner Michael Arndt for prostrating himself at the feet of the cast and the directors of his film in his speech.



I could really feel your pride in and love for the written word there, Michael. All the respect you deserve backatcha.

Random Flickr-blogging 1569



Now that's a play.

Credit.

Check this out.

A woman named Suze Orman, who is a financial counselor and TV host, has come out as a lesbian. Which is great, right? Yeah, but some things about her reported statements strike me as kind of weird.

Orman says she wishes she could marry her partner Kathy Travis, partly because it would save them both a lot of money.

"Both of us have millions of dollars in our name," she told The New York Times Magazine in its Feb. 25 edition. "It's killing me that upon death, K.T. is going to lose 50 percent of everything I have to estate taxes.


Yes, I love all that romantic talk too. Of course, I have to admit that never having heard of Orman, when I saw this item I went looking for news and images of her. And far be it from me to stereotype...but...I can't imagine how this could have come as a shock.

It also seems kind of odd to me that she says
I have never been with a man in my whole life. I'm still a 55-year-old virgin.' ''

So a woman being with another woman is not "real" sex, then?

Saturday, February 24, 2007

You know what you almost never see?

A sexy girl ventriloquist.



After you have a look at that and fall in love with her, if you want to know more about who she is (as you will), go here. Small aside: Among many other roles, her father, the actor Tom Conti, had the lead in a film I remember very fondly, the apparently underseen Reuben, Reuben.

But enough about him. I just discovered Nina herself in a small role in For Your Consideration. There's a handful of other video clips of her performances to be found on YouTube, enjoy.

(This post counts as a public service)

Lord knows, I'm the last person to say men cannot empathize with women's issues...but...

Reportedly, a couple of gay-rights bills are considered very likely to be passed by the new Congess this year. These would be the first major federal such bills ever passed.

If you read that item, notice that one of the conservatives they quote in opposition is Tony "named after a famously closeted gay actor" Perkins.
Tony Perkins, president of the conservative Family Research Council, contended that gay-rights groups exaggerated the extent of anti-gay bias as part of a broader push to achieve their political goals.

"I'm sure there's probably a case here and there," Perkins said. "But I've seen more discrimination of people of religious faith than I've seen of gay people in the work force."


Right.

(Sometimes a man has to resort to sarcasm)

Another cited opponent is from "Concerned Women For America."
Matt Barber of Concerned Women for America held out hope that Bush would block the measures. "Hopefully," Barber said, "the president will show that the veto pen is mightier than the politically correct sword."


You may remember the CWFA. This is the organization that warned parents against allowing their children to watch Buffy because of Willow & Tara's relationship.

They even found something to object to on the coffee cups at Starbucks.

Also notice that the spokesperson for "Concerned Women For America"...is a man.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Being a psychic is catching

So I'm watching tonight's episode of Psych. And reflecting, as I have in a previous episode or two, on how Maggie Lawson, who plays the character Juliet, is fun to watch walk away. And I continued thinking in a not-sexist way, that what this series needs is an episode in which for a completely plot-relevant reason, she wears less clothing.

Next thing I know, up comes the "next episode" preview. She's going undercover in a sorority house. Ask and ye shall receive.

By the way, I found something out looking for an image to run with this very important post. A few years before joining the cast of Psych, Lawson had the lead in an unsuccesful attempt to bring the Nancy Drew character back to television.

A hip teen girl detective? What a surprise that didn't get picked up. There's no making a good series out of that idea in this day and age...

At least she won't have much time to mourn the loss of "Studio 60"

Amanda Peet and her screenwriter husband David Benioff welcomed a a baby girl, Frances Pen this week.


All due congrats, though I'm made slightly ill by the thought of a writer naming his child "Pen."

A self-evident statement

Drew Barrymore is looking rather good.



That is all.

Like you, I was expecting I would be told I was...

...British pop cheese. Or ersatz Broadway cheese. But no, apparently, I'm:
Meira



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meira is a traditional Iraqi cheese, made from sheeps milk. The curds are cut into strips and matured in a sheepskin bag for between 6 and 12 months.


(Our man "Cheddar" Klemow sent the following...)

What kind of cheese are you?

Talking to the wind

Good commentary piece here about how the need to have everything pre-visualized diminishes the imagination. I agreed with it even before I found the Joe Jackson quote.

When MTV and the music video dawned, '80s singer/songwriter Joe Jackson warned about the effect of limiting the boundaries of the viewer's imagination with images.

"Things which used to count, such as being a good composer, player, or singer, are getting lost in the desperate rush to visualize everything. ... One result of this is that artists are now being signed for their video potential rather than for their musical talent." (And those prophetic words were spoken a couple decades before "American Idol.")


How can a child grow up without a copy of Robert Louis Stevenson's "A Child's Garden of Verses" to take down and read on a summer afternoon? Or "Grimm's Fairy Tales"? Or any of the Harry Potter series?

I don't believe reading will ever really die, there will always be people like me and you who like few things better than curling up with a really good book. And after all, you're reading this, aren't you?

But there's no denying we're just not a word-centric society anymore, if, indeed, we ever were. And yes, I am aware of the irony that "word-centric" is in itself not a word. But even when more people read, it's not as though everyone was going around reading Stevenson and Grimm to each other. There's always been romance novels and other trashy books.

I'm afraid the writer of the commentary is just, well, see my headline.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Consider this (The hint of the century)

Though he can be a great deadpan comic actor, I've never been as big a fan of Christopher Guest written and/or directed films as I know some are. Most of his movies that I have seen are a little thin on laughs for me personally.

Doesn't mean he's not funny, just that he doesn't happen to get right into my pocket. But I continually try again. Just because I don't find as many laughs in his films as many do doesn't mean I don't find any.

And he almost always goes after irresistable targets, like drug-addled rock 'n' roll bands. Or actors and the film industry. In For Your Consideration, he returns to the latter topic for the first time since The Big Picture in 1989.

It's about a trio of actors who are either at the end of (Catherine O'Hara), never had (Harry Shearer), or just starting (Parker Posey) a career when they get bitten by the Oscar buzz. It's actually not as good a film as The Big Picture, which I've long felt was badly overlooked.

But it's got a kicker, a sting in the tail. Something that makes you realize this time, maybe part of the reason the laughs haven't been coming as fast and furious is because the film is not only a comedy. It's truly a comi-tragedy.

The problem here is that I can't say too much about why without dulling the impact. Not that it's a big twist like the meaning of Rosebud or something, but it should be revealed to you gradually.

I will say that there's a big hint in this news item. Which actually managed to make me cool off on someone I've long thought was as close to a dictionary definition of "hot" as I was ever going to get.

I remember once reading an interview with a couple of members of Aerosmith. The first time they saw Spinal Tap, it was a time when they were at a real low ebb in their careers. In so many words, it scared the hell out of them.

They could relate to it so closely that it touched too deep a nerve to laugh at.

I suspect that one or two actresses in their 50's, or probably even younger, will be having a similar reaction to Catherine O'Hara's performance in this movie as the cruelly named Marilyn Hack.

It's the key to the whole tragedy.

The carousel spins; it only brings some people so close to the fire, and the only thing more rare than a second chance is that first one. So if it comes around again, some people hold on so tight to that gift horse that they squeeze the very life out of it.

Schadenfreude

scha.den.freu.de. Pronunciation Key: (shaedn-froid). Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others, malicious satisfaction.


These are excerpts from the reviews of Gray Matters, A.K.A that Heather Graham movie what had been making me feel so hopeless:

Gray Matters is as unhinged as its characters.


dull, contrived, obvious, and at 96 minutes, seemingly endless


Sitcommy, forced and forgettable.

Never have I ever wanted to climb into the screen and kill every single character as much as I did with this movie.

Gray Matters could be recommended to gay women whose erotic fantasies are located in the stuffed French poodle department of FAO Schwarz.

Drawing on their sitcom chops, Graham and Cavanagh cover for their cloth-eared dialogue with trumped-up camaraderie, pushing and pulling at each other like toddlers in playgroup.

This warms the cockles of my little black heart.

I'm so happy...

Oh, good. Michael Medved has weighed in.

No play on words intended. Medved, the right-wing film critic with whom I once enjoyed a screening of the film Tomcats, has lent his voice in support to Tim Hardaway. Hardaway is the NBA player who recently opened his mouth and exposed the depths of his hatred for homosexuals.

Medved's thesis is that the "no openly gay guys in the locker room" policy makes sense, and to prove it he invokes the wisdom passed down by T-shirts through the ages, "No Fat Chicks." Yes. Medved feels,
The ill-favored, grossly overweight female is the right counterpart to a gay male because, like the homosexual, she causes discomfort due to the fact that attraction can only operate in one direction.


Well! As you might imagine, Shakespeare's Sister has some useful contributions to make to this discussion, including:
I love the presupposition that fat chicks and gay dudes automatically want to fuck NBA players, and that NBA players are so insecure that even if someone to whom they weren't attracted was in their vicinity, they couldn't begin to function. In fact, I just love the entire idea of straight men who are made uncomfortable by the mere presence of someone wanting to fuck them whom they don't want to fuck. All I can say is that these assholes would crumple if they had to spend a week as a woman, getting chatted up, having their space invaded, being subjected to unwanted touching, and all other manner of unsubtle displays of attraction by, well, them. It's precisely the kind of drooling, moronic Neanderthals who proffer asinine arguments like this one that have the least compunction about aggressive horniness—which is, I suppose, why they can't imagine that there exist people who, even if they are attracted to someone, don't feel compelled to practically hump his or her leg to show it.

Yes, that's the brains and "balls" she could have used for John Edwards if he had enough of either, in other words, if he weren't such a...you know.

Well, this is a flashback

Back when I was a freshman in high school, I wrote a pro-gay opinion piece for my high school newspaper. I have no doubt I would cringe if I saw it now. Not because of the sentiment, obviously, but the one or two lines I remember...well, if one or two of you think I can be confrontational in my writing now...

This was me at 14 years old, having only recently come under the influence of Harlan Ellison. And this was in the San Francisco Bay Area in 1985, for pete's sake. Universe knows who I thought I was standing up to.

But anyway, it caused a small (almost miniscule-I don't want to make this into more than it was) amount of controvery. Someone wrote a reply piece, and I wrote a reply to that reply piece, blah blah blah.

I tell you this for two reasons. One is to preen that I'm no gay rights-come-lately, you know. The other is because over twenty years later in Fort Wayne, Indiana, someone is going through the same shit.

A student wrote a similiar editorial (though probably much better reasoned and more persuasive than mine). The school principal responded by demanding the right to read all materials submitted to the newspaper in the future, to make sure it's "appropriate."

When the journalism teacher refused, he accused her of insubordination.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

This post would probably be rated R

I've just seen the movie This Film is Not Yet Rated, a documentary on the MPAA and their ratings system. It's most entertaining, especially when showing filmmakers telling their own horror stories about why their films were given performance-crippling ratings.

It may surprise you to learn that the movie studios are thrown into a tither at the sight of anything representing female sexual pleasure onscreen. I know I was shocked.

The film makes the same points so many times that it begins to feel like padding. This is even worse when it starts to focus on the P.I. the documentarian hired to ferret out the identities of the very hush-hush ratings board.

Her story may be fascinating to some (though not to me), but there's no denying it's got nothing to do with what the film is obstensibly about.

Also, I question whether this film tells any of us "right-thinking" people anything we don't already know. The treatment of sex vs. violence in American movies is often hypocritical, I mean, who didn't know that?

However, it's a point worth making and the film makes it well in a couple spots. Actress Maria Bello and actor/filmmaker Kevin Smith are particuarly eloquent on this subject.

Bello describes hearing that it was a brief glimpse of her lower nude body during a well-fucked scene which got her film The Cooler an NC-17 rating. She "wanted to go in and fight for my pubic hair," she says. You have to like a woman like that.

Smith fans should be sure to check out the deleted scenes in which he imagines himself a 16-year-old girl going to see Jersey Girl...in a hypothetical world in which anyone went to see Jersey Girl, he admits ruefully.

Sabu?

Sometimes I pick up on a good TV show early-Bones, Veronica Mars, Boston Legal. But more often than not it can take me a few seasons before I start watching something & find out I really like it-24, House, Psych.

I then start hunting down all the previous episodes on DVD (thank God for the wonder of man's technology). My most recent late-date discovery? Monk, which is in its fifth season now. I'd had the show recommended to me by a friend or two, but never sat down to watch an episode until USA ran a "viewers choice marathon" a few weeks ago.

Well, I had nothing else to do that day. And I figured if these were the episodes that Monk fans liked it should certainly tell me whether I had the capacity to be a Monk fan. Turns out I do, and I am.

Why? Well, let me put it this way. One reason is...I don't want to make too big a great deal of this, but something occured to me recently. One thing that all my favorite TV shows, including all of those listed above, have in common is this: A lead character who, to one degree or another, has difficulty living but is redeemed by at least one really cool thing they can do. I don't think it requires too much insight to see why.

Anyway, getting back to Monk, there seem to have been two "debates" among longtime fans of the series. One is which version of the theme music they prefer, the original, instrumental guitar-based version, or the song written and performed by Randy Newman.

For what it's worth in that one I come down on the Newman side, which is weird because I've never really been a part of his cult following. It probably helps that the theme is over in less than a minute. For me a little of Newman's voice goes a long way.

The other "debate" has been over which of the two assistant characters the fans prefer, Sharona or Natalie. And here again I come down in favor of version 2.0, Natalie, played by actress Traylor Howard. Natalie just seems nicer, though I don't really dislike the Sharona character.

Actually, it's Howard's real-life situation that sparked this post, which I'd been off-handedly looking for an excuse to write and "declare my affections." Last Spring she became pregnant and she gave birth to a son this past November.

According to this Monk site, she named him "Sabu." So I was going to ask, what kind of a person names their son "Sabu" in this day and age? And then it dawned on me: The kind of person whose parents evidently saddled her with the name "Traylor."

I can't think of any way that could have been turned around on her in the schoolyard, can you?

Holding up the dignity of screenwriters everywhere

...one seeks "companion" for Oscar night on Craigslist.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Oh, that's all I need

Entry here from the Dlisted blog (and if you can't rely on them, whom can you rely on?), quoting Anne Hathaway, heretofore known as the love of my life, on the subject of bad girls.

“You know, Lindsay [Lohan] and I have a lot more in common than people think. We’ve all done things we shouldn’t, it’s just I did stuff at college, when nobody knew about it, so I’m not a saint. I wasted time doing self-destructive things but it didn’t work. I found out you can only dance on so many tabletops.


Aside from making me really wish I'd attended Hathaway's college, this is all to the good. But then the blogger goes on to speculate that Anne's longtime boyfriend, some fella in real estate heretofore known as the unworthy swine, might just in fact be...a beard.

That's right. To wildly misquote Peter O'Toole in Beckett, will no one rid me of these meddlesome dykes?

How the mighty, etc

If you're sick of hearing me talk about Sorkin and/or Studio 60, you may...or may not...want to follow this link to a column by Tim Goodman of the SF Chronicle. I think most of what he says is true.

Perhaps especially:


Who's the rooting interest here? (Take your time.) Ultimately, it was hard to care. Those who tried to care were Sorkin loyalists


I cared about Matt, as I care about most characters who care about writing well. But even as a "Sorkin loyalist"...it was hard to care as much about him after last weeks episode practically begged for our sympathy.

I have a few other exceptions or at least qualifications which I'll get to now.
It was a drama about a comedy show but the skits weren't funny.


And it didn't help that the series kept asking us to believe this was supposed to be not just a more-than-fitfully-funny show. On the order of the best years of Saturday Night Live. No, this was The Virtual Reincarnation Of The Commedia dell'arte.

Even an experienced troupe of sketch comedy writers and players would have had trouble living up to what Studio 60, in the reality of the series, was supposed to be. Aaron Sorkin & crew never had a chance.

Sarah Paulson [was] not funny in this series playing [a] comic...


Same thing. I'd argue that she was...but not so funny as we were asked to believe she was. Sarah Paulson was my discovery of the series, and I look forward to seeing her in projects where the writing doesn't put her in untenable positions.

Here the writing failed her twice. First by telling us over and over that Harriet Hayes was supposed to be not just a hardworking actress and comedian but something like a less-flitty Drew Barrymore.

Someone who is perceived to be so talented at comedy and at drama, and so sexy, that the worlds and men of show business lie at her feet. Come on. Talk about giving someone a heavy burden.

And then, to my dismay, Sorkin backed away from one of the things I found most interesting about the character: Her religious faith. There were lots of places I think that could have gone, not all (but some) to do with her relationship with Matthew.

It's a path-less-traveled in television, whereas we've all seen the inter-office dating stories (and seen them, and seen them, and seen them). But it seemed much of that got thrown by the wayside in an attempt to find something, anything, for a mass audience to latch on to (and by extention, not be offended by).

Maybe better he should have made this about such a show's first year on the air. Then maybe we wouldn't have had those embarassing moments where the characters are celebrating their great ratings victory...when we know it's just not true.

Oh, okay, a Britney Spears post

Or, "Why The Internet Was Invented, Part Four." So we could have sites with lists like this:
Eight Women Who Look Better Bald Than Britney


I'd say they're pretty dead-on. And this does give me an excuse to run my all-time favorite picture of Sinead O'Connor.



No, she's not bald, but how often are you gonna see her like that? Also note how in the picture provided at the site, Demi Moore looks just like Robert De Niro.

Do you believe in miracles?

Last night was, what will in all likely probability probably be the last new episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip to be broadcast on NBC. It hasn't "officially" been cancelled yet, but...you don't have to be a programming executive to read the old writing on the wall.

And it's a shame, really. It's not a shame because "Aaron Sorkin is incapable of writing poorly!", clearly, he isn't. And his surrogate character admitted as much in tonight's show when he learned the ratings of the series within the series had gone down and immidiately blamed the writing (ie, himself).

It's a shame because it showed that good ideals and the best of intentions aren't always enough. A creative team both behind and in front of the camera that no one could possibly find fault with is not enough if the magic just aint there. And Studio 60, for all that there was often much to value, was sorely lacking in magic from the beginning.

Nobody's career will be crippled by this thing. Sorkin's got that Tom Hanks movie coming up; Tommy Schlamme won't have to go begging for a job anytime soon. The cast members who weren't already multi-millionaires all got, at the very least, a few great scenes to add to their "reel." And I have to believe a Sorkin/Schlamme credit is still nothing to sneeze at in Hollywood.

The reality is that Studio 60 was a noble failure. Back in October, I said,
If [Studio 60 doesn't] make it, I feel like it'll say something about how, in fact, there isn't a place for smart shows on network television these days. Which would be a real shame, especially since a big part of the soul of Studio 60 is about arguing just that point-that there is such a place. I'd really hate for that to be proved wrong.

So...has it been? Well, Veronica Mars has gone back to being great again. Boston Legal continues to carve out a very special niche for itself. And most of the rest of the shows I watch...well, I wouldn't call them stupid (he said modestly).

Maybe Studio 60 not making it didn't show anything other than that this time, Aaron Sorkin didn't have it. And they were not, in fact, "the very model of a modern network TV show." And sometimes I think: More's the pity.

Because with all the damn "reality" shows, soap operas about Desperate Housewife lesbians, game shows, and fucking American Idol...

...it would have been nice if I could have had one show that said the arts and entertainment can be more than this. It's just a shame that, whether in concept or execution, Studio 60, it turns out, is not that show.

It is a shame. We need shows that say that. We need a lot of things that say that. Or at least, I do. Because the other sad reality is that for a lot of people the damn "reality" shows, soap operas and so on are enough.

But they're not for me. They're not what I want to watch, and they're not what I want to do. And that may help me put my finger on what bothered me most about Studio 60 in recent weeks.

Sports Night and especially West Wing made me want to write well. They almost always made me think, "I have to do better." Studio 60 may have made me think, "I actually can do better." I have no idea right now whether that's a good sign, or not.

Studio 60
2006-2007

Rest in peace.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Playboy magazine, in stunning reversal of previous policy, comes out in favor of big tits

SCARLETT JOHANSSON has been named Sexiest Celebrity by Playboy magazine. The publication brands the LOST IN TRANSLATION star as "the apex of beauty and sensuality - from her porcelain skin to her fully feminine figure to her mysterious charisma, which is at once palpable and undefinable."



Oh, for the love of...

It's not undefinable.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Too true, tattoo.

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Random Flickr-blogging 6754

I apologize in advance for this joke. Ahem:


When Quan wished to marry a guy with a large organ, this wasn't quite what she had in...oh, I hate myself...

(credit)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Hola!

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Bruno Souza

Dave Lifton is a better person than 99% of the rest of you.

He's done the right thing, come up with his own list of answers to my Wednesday meme, and posted it to his blog. Not only that, he's encouraged "my friends in the blogosphere to do the same."

I don't know how you people can live with yourselves.

Oh, sweet Christ

We have here a column from a newspaper in...you old-timers will understand why my tongue hesitates to form the poisonous word...Knoxville. The first, and major, chunk of the interview takes the form of an interview with actor and director Timothy Busfield, currently a cast member (and director) on Studio 60. Before that a recurring guest star on West Wing, among many other roles.

His interview is devoted to the subject of ego in the arts. He begins,
"I think an ego is almost mandatory for anyone in the arts," says Busfield, who cut his acting chops first at East Tennessee State University in the 1970s before heading to Hollywood.


Staying with the Studio 60 theme, the columnist then goes on to offer us a bon mot from actor Matthew Perry. Perry, of course, is currently playing Aaron Sorkin's surrogate character as the genius (we've been told it many times) writer for the show within the series.

WORDS TO LIVE BY. "There are two ways to go when you hit that crossroads in your life: There is the bad way, when you sort of give up, and then there is the really hard way, when you fight back. I went the hard way and came out of it OK." — Matthew Perry


I'm sure the $16.5 million a year must have helped, Matthew!

Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions

Mrs. Parker:

...no writer, whether he writes from love or for money, can condescend to what he writes. You can't stoop to what you set down on paper; I don't why you can't, but you can't. No matter what form it takes, and no matter what the result, and no matter how caustically comic you are about it afterward, what you did was your best. And to do your best is always hard going. [Screen Guilds Magazine, May 1936]

Friday, February 16, 2007

deep inside... the voice is singing Diddy doo wop

Column here about TV writers and how much they listen (or don't listen) to criticism from blogs and the like. Including:

Occasionally a promising show such as Aaron Sorkin's "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," is given time to find its niche even as ratings falter. The behind-the-scenes series began as an earnest look at the politics of popular culture. Some critics called it smug and unfunny. Recent promos for the show have signaled a new, lighter direction, one that focuses on romance rather than rhetoric. Mr. Sorkin is a tad testy about the new direction, while acknowledging the criticism. "We'd always seen the show as a romantic comedy," he says from the writer's room of the show's Los Angeles set as he toys with a pile of script pages casually strewn across the large table that dominates the room. "But, yeah, we know that a lot of people thought we were arrogant and not funny enough."


Unfortunately, to me, any time a writer/producer says something like "We'd always seen the show as..." it really means: "We've just drastically changed the direction of the show, but we want you to think we know exactly what we're doing."

I dunno...I have a feeling that's not quite right

You Are 32% Intuitive

You're definitely an intuitive person, but you never go on your gut alone.
You tend to be more analytical than intuitive - possibly because your intuition has failed you in the past.
When you don't have enough facts to make a decision, you don't mind listening to your gut to figure out what to do.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

And some nights you just get the feeling that god hates you, and thinks you're a bad person

So headlined to distinguish this from my periodic "Some evenings you just feel more isolated from your culture than others" posts. In those I talk about movies that I find myself with surprisingly little desire to see, despite the fact that they're well-reviewed, have a story or a kind of story that has been of interest to me in other formats, or both.

Every three or four years, however, a movie comes along to which my reaction goes well beyond surprisingly little desire to see it. One that fills me with hatred and loathing every time a commercial for it comes across my TV screen.

Last time, it was The Cat in the Hat. It took me a while but I finally worked out just what bothered me so much about that one, besides the fact that by all accounts it was a wretched film. Even if it had been genius, I would have argued that the film should never have been made.

Why? Because The Cat in the Hat, the book, was created for the sole and noble purpose of teaching children to read, something at which it succeded beyond anyone's wildest imagination. How dare a movie steal children's experience of that just to make money?

What's bothering me this time is another film made from one of the undisputed classics of children's literature, Bridge to Terabithia. I assume most of you reading this have read it. This movie has been giving me sinking feelings ever since I first saw a commercial for it.

That the book made an impact on me should be obvious. What is Bridge to Terabithia about? It's about a boy who becomes friends with a tomboyish girl. I mean, hello. It is also about friendship, imagination and loss. It is not about big Muppety creatures coming down from the sky, which is what the first commercials made it look like the movie was about.

And I knew something with terrible certainty, as one who has known them intimately in his minds' eye (a place they never quite left): Jess and Leslie were never quite as clean and fresh-faced and Nickelodeon-ready as the two, no doubt very talented, children who are supposed to represent them.

Increased exposure to the commercials led me to believe one of two things was possible. Either the filmmakers had departed signifigantly from the book, eliminating the tragic loss in the last third which is its most moving component.

If that were the case, they should be tied to anthills for desceration. Or, the other possibility was that the film was actually quite faithful to the book, but some ad man or woman decided to sell it as a special f/x extravaganza.

If that were the case, they should be brought up on charges for false advertising. And I'd imagine a few parents will be indignant if they bring their children to it expecting another romp through computer graphics and end up taking them home crying after the real story reveals itself.

The reviews suggest to me that the second is true. RT says:
Bridge to Terabithia is a faithful adaptation of a beloved children's novel and a powerful portrayal of love, loss, and imagination through children's eyes.

So, great then, right? The thing is, I don't care. I don't care how faithful or powerful the adaptation is, if anyone had asked me I would have said that making a film out of Bridge to Terabithia was a terrible idea. Why?

Because the book, even moreso than all books, is about imagination. It's about the relationship that you form with these people in your minds' eye and how you see the things they do and what happens to them. Movies, even the best of them, are about giving you things to see. Not what you see.

Even if the film must be made, I would have said: Stop on a dime the first time somebody came up with the idea that we must enter the fantasy world the two kids create. No. The story is about what it is and what it means to them, and you can show that with well-wrought performances.

This plants the seed for what the audiences see in their imaginations without taking away their experience. By asking a special effects house to come up with their interpretation of what Terabithia looks like? They are taking from every person who sees the movie, but especially every child, the chance to create their own.

Even an SFX house as talented as Weta Digital, who did the Lord of the Rings movies. BTW, I do feel differently about this than the LotR films, and I don't think it's because Terabithia is in my matrix in a way that the Tolkien books never were.

I think it's because, the Rings trilogy is imaginative. Terabithia is, and I'll try not to make this point again, about imagination. The only reason I can think of to make a movie from it (besides money) is because some people still think that is the pinnacle of artistic achievement.

Some books make dandy movies (My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, for example, would work suprisingly well in an adaptation). But not all books are somehow inadequate if not source material to sell Coke & popcorn (and neither would Girlfriend's Boyfriend be).

And I would imagine some might argue that a succesful film adaptation sends the curious back to read books they'd somehow missed. But I remember that what bothered me about The Cat in the Hat was not just its mere existence, it was the endless product tie-ins and “synergy” around it. Including and most especially the new books that adapted the movie, with the insidious potential to surplant the real book, by Dr. Seuss.

And I note something with fatalistic angst. Currently on the number four spot on the New York Times Best-Seller list for children's books is yet another familiar, popular title. One that was also recently released as a well-reviewed film, Charlotte's Web.

The book on the Best-Seller list is not the book by E.B. White, it's an "adaptation" of the movie by somebody named Kate Egan.

Some movies made from books are good. Some movies made from books are great. Some movies made from books are textbook examples of how to adapt a movie and get virtually every conceivable thing wrong (do not even get me started about Endless Love).

But what they all have in common is this. They all give unknown numbers of people an excuse to say:

"No...but I saw the movie."

Bruce Springsteen knows the score.

"In the 50s there was this whole generation of young men trying to sing like beautiful women. That was very smart, ’cause they’d sing way up here, kind of like (sings falsetto melody). I always thought that was crafty because what their seduction was, ‘I’m gonna come up, and I’m gonna speak in your voice to you, beautiful lady. I’m gonna be talkin’ in your language. I’m comin’ up where you live, and I’m a sensitive, understanding man. And will you pull your pants down?’

That is the subtext of all rock n’ roll music. I believe actually it was the subtext of all classical music, also. It is the great motivator for people to write music. You can tell because it works well at the end of any rock song, like ‘It’s a town full of losers and we’re pullin’ out of here to win…and will you pull your pants down?’ or ‘Tramps like us, baby we were born to run…so will you pull your pants down?’ And it also works in the most kind of hardcore protest music that seems to be aimin’ for something higher, like, ‘It’s a hard rain’s-a gonna fall…so you might as well pull your pants down!’”

Bruce Springsteen, Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, NJ 11-13-05.

-Via Wings For Wheels

Two separate stories united by hate.

Story one:
Eminem's ex-wife Kim Mathers attempted to commit suicide after watching her husband's fans laugh as he beat a blow-up doll made up to look like her at a concert.

Mathers was attending one of the rap superstar's early shows when he dedicated a vicious rap song to her and then attacked her doll likeness before hurling it into the audience.

His devastated wife, who has been attacked in many Eminem songs, watched as rabid fans destroyed the doll.


For the record, I don't know which is more inexplicable: Eminem's success, or that this girl was stupid enough to marry the misogynistic, homophobic thug twice.

Story two:
Tim Hardaway, who spent 13 seasons in the NBA, was removed from league-related appearances, one day after an anti-gay tirade on a local radio program.

Hardaway reponded to a question on WAXY about former NBA player John Amaechi and the Englishman's admission of homosexuality with a hard-line stance against gay players in the NBA.

"I hate gay people," Hardaway said. "I let it be known I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States sports."

A statement from NBA commissioner David Stern to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel said Hardaway has been removed from league-related appearances.

"It is inappropriate for him to be representing us given the disparity between his views and ours," Stern said.

There's more, if you can take it.

Bill Sherman has stepped up manfully

...and posted his reply to my meme challenge to his blog. So howsabout the rest of you, hmmm?

There goes another big piece of all of our childhoods

Peter Ellenshaw, an Academy Award-winning special effects artist who worked on Disney classics such as "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea," "Darby O'Gill and the Little People" and "Mary Poppins," for which he won his Oscar, has died. He was 93.


...living in the small town of Oxbridge, near the London film studios, he became friends with renowned matte artist Walter Percy Day, who eventually offered him a job. From 1935 to 1941, Ellenshaw worked as an uncredited assistant matte artist on a dozen films, including "The Thief of Bagdad" and "Major Barbara."


In 1953, he was brought to California to work on "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea," for which he created several matte paintings of Capt. Nemo's secret island base of Vulcania.

He went on to do matte paintings and other special effects for more than 30 other Disney films, including "The AbsentMinded Professor," "Pollyanna," "Swiss Family Robinson," "The Happiest Millionaire," "The Love Bug" and "The Black Hole." He also did matte paintings for Disney TV fare, such as "Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier," "Zorro" and "Texas John Slaughter."


"He's one of the titans of visual effects in an era before people took visual special effects for granted," film critic and historian Leonard Maltin told The Times on Wednesday.


"So when you see London Harbor full of tall-masted schooners in 'Treasure Island,' that's an Ellenshaw painting.

When Mary Poppins sails over the rooftops of London, that's an Ellenshaw painting.

And when Davy Crocket rides down the path to Washington, that's an Ellenshaw painting."



After doing special effects and the production design on the 1974 Disney adventure-fantasy "The Island at the Top of the World" — for which he shared an Oscar nomination for best art direction — Ellenshaw and his wife moved to Ireland, where he painted landscapes for a couple of years before returning to California.

From then on, he did only occasional film work, including the 1979 Disney space adventure "The Black Hole," for which he shared an Oscar nomination for best visual effects.

Ellenshaw, who also shared an Oscar nomination for art direction for the 1971 film "Bedknobs and Broomsticks," came out of retirement for the last time to do matte paintings for the 1990 film "Dick Tracy."

At times like these, I could almost believe this is Camelot

Washington State is one of several states racing to see which will be first to send the U.S. House of Representatives a petition to impeach Bush and Cheney.

State Senator Eric Oemig, on February 14, 2007, introduced a resolution calling on the Washington State Legislature to petition the U.S. House.

Kirsty MacColl is a fox.



Literally. From The Telegraph:

When Kirsty MacColl died after being hit by a speedboat while diving off the coast of Mexico seven years ago, a memorial bench was placed in Soho Square.

So I'm touched to hear that a vixen who has made the square her home of late has been christened "Kirsty" by locals.

"We all think she's lovely," says one. "She's often to be found at night curled up by the bench, so we thought it was only fitting to call her after Kirsty. She's even got the same colouring."

TV stories

Okay. You regular readers will know that the producers of 24 are doing a comedy show which is supposed to be a conservative counter-balance to The Daily Show. Well now, now we've got footage. Get ready to hold your sides.



In happier news (by which I mean news which is much more likely to result in someone somewhere someday smiling): Gilmore Girls' much-missed creator Amy Sherman-Palladino's new sitcom pilot has a lead, Parker Posey.

I'm going to try not to get my hopes up way too high for this one. Given how deeply I've sunk into depression at the realization that Studio 60 just isn't making it in the ratings or with me. Nevertheless, the premise-
Posey will play a successful children's book editor who's forced to ask her estranged younger sister to carry a child for her when she discovers she can't conceive.

-sounds like one that Sherman-Palladino can run with. And even before Gilmore Girls, she did have a few years of writing on Roseanne when it was arguably at the height of its powers under her belt.

As for Parker Posey, I admit I've seen her in few really good films since her first, Dazed and Confused, back in 1993. From what I've seen she seems to do a lot of indy movies that almost work, but don't quite.

However, she's been good enough in them I'm prepared to believe* with the right script she could really be quite good.

*Provisionally, he said, with visions of the Sunset Strip nestled in his head.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Oh, and I almost forgot:

Favorite Valentine’s Day song

“Valentine’s Day,” written and performed by ABC

When the postman don’t call on Valentine’s day
And Santa Claus don’t come on a Christmas Day
That umbrella won’t work on a rainy day
Don’t ask me, I already know

When they find you beached on the barrier reef
And the only pleasure treasured is in map relief
The choice is yours, sure, saint or thief
Don’t ask me I already know

When they baked your cake in little slices
Kept your eyes on rising prices
Wound up winning booby prizes
I’m sure you’d like to think you know what life is

Find destiny through magazines
Liplicking, unzipping Harpers and Queens
From here to eternity Without in-betweens
Don’t ask me, I already know

With your heart on parade and your heart on parole
(I hope you find a sucker to buy that mink stole)
School for scandal
Guess who’s enrolled?
So ask me, I already know

When they find you beached on the barrier reef
When the postman don’t call on Valentine’s Day
When the only pleasure treasured is in map relief
When you don’t tell the truth, that’s the price you pay

When I’m shaking a hand, I’m clenching a fist
If you gave me a [dollar] for the moments I missed
And I got dancing lessons for all the lips I should kiss
I’d be a millionaire
I’d be your Fred Astaire

John Edwards is a jackass. This is a recording.

I, however, am Spartacus. Join us, won't you?

Peter O'Toole, master with women

After citing the deeply underrated Creator, starring Virginia Madsen and Peter O'Toole, in the below list this morning, this afternoon I found this recent rememberance by her of the film:

"I was outraged one day, when we were shooting on the beach, we were all there and all the crew were waiting and he wouldn't come out of his trailer.

"'Somebody should go get him! I will!' I was all of like, what, 22?

"The assistant director looks at me and goes, ‘Yeah? You think you could get him out?' ‘As a matter of fact, I will!' I went marching over, I banged on his door, and he yells out, ‘Entre!' "I marched in there and started, ‘PETER...'

"He goes ‘Heeeeellloooooo darling,' and I just melted. ‘Sit down, girl!' I, of course, obeyed.

"And he proceeded to tell stories of when he was filming Beckett, and I just dissolved into a pool beneath his feet.

"Maybe 45 minutes later, I emerged, floating on a cloud, from his trailer. And sauntered back to the beach and the set. And then I realized that I'd made a fool of myself.

"I apologized to the first AD. All embarrassed and everything. The director comes over and says, ‘Don't worry. If Kate Hepburn couldn't get him out of his trailer, what makes you think you could?'"

This is a meme that I thunk up.

I'm tagging Sherman with it, but anyone else who wants to play is welcome. If you have a blog, post it there, let me know in the comments and I'll post a link. Or you can just put it in the comments.

The idea is this: Name three movies that you have shown (or would show) to a new girlfriend/boyfriend to let them know what kind of person you are.

Mine are all films that I actually did show to new girlfriends-who also happened to be my two longest relationships, but who knows if there's a connection or not.

The first was Creator, directed by Ivan Passer from a screenplay by Jeremy Leven, who very freely adapted his own novel. This is the story of a scientist who acts as mentor to a young protege in both the ways of science and the ways of love. Oh yes, and he's also attempting to clone his long-dead wife, which accounts for the sad edge to what is both a comedy and a romance, if not necessarily what I think of as a romantic comedy.

The scientist is played by Peter O'Toole, who is brilliant. The love interest of his student (Vincent Spano) is played by Virginia Madsen. And yes, this was the start of the crush I have had on her ever since. It was also the last film for a handful of years in which she would play, for lack of a better phrase, a "nice" girl.

She was broadly typecast as a sexpot in most of her films between this and Sideways. Given how hot I think she is, I'm not exactly complaining about that...yet in Creator, she has an astonishing quality which frankly, I kind of missed since.

.

(Also in this movie, David Ogden Stiers pulls off the neat trick of playing an aggresively hostile surgeon who in no way resembles his Major Charles Emerson Winchester III on M*A*S*H)

I remember having to stop the tape in the middle when showing it to my new girlfriend, because we had to go somewhere, and asking her what she thought of it so far. She said she thought it was very sad, because it's about a man who cannot get on with his life.

I was happy when I was able to finish showing it to her, because his overcoming that is kind of what the film is about.

The next film is All That Jazz, directed by Bob Fosse and co-written by him with Robert Alan Aurthur. I actually wrote an article about it for a fanzine a few years ago, but unfortunately (or not), it's not online.

This is, for better and for worse, the best depiction I have ever seen of the artistic personality, or at least mine. I showed it, to be frank, at least partly as a warning.



It's kind of dark, so as an antidote I showed the same girl...

The Fisher King, directed by Terry Gilliam from a script by Richard LaGravenese. This is also kind of dark along the way but there is, as they say, a light at the end of the tunnel. It's all too easy for me to imagine I would react in the way Robin Williams' character does in this film if I suffered the loss he does.

Gilliam's commentary on the laser disc version is also one of my favorites. He talks about the proper use of movie stars and points out the power of withholding their "trump cards." For example, I knew that a scene near the end of the movie, where Jeff Bridges turns around with a big, silly grin on his face, was exhilarating.


What I didn't know was that Gilliam had very specifically prevented Bridges, who has a great smile, from doing it in all the previous scenes to increase its power.

I think Mercedes Ruehl's Anne (now where have I heard that name before?) and Amanda Plummer's Lydia are two of the best women characters in films of the last 20 years.

I take pride in writing my women characters well, and films like this are very much my model-I've referred to LaGravenese's essay in the script book often.

(Come to think of it, an early version of my Annabel, Keitha and Colley story contained a reference to this movie)

Another thing I like about the film and script is that it finds time for character moments which in more streamlined films would be cut. They don't exactly advance the plot, but they do give the film much of its meaning for me.

I'm thinking especially of Michael Jeter's great monologue as the homeless man after Bridges asks him if he lost his mind gradually, or just all of a sudden. The one which begins "Well...I'm a singer by trade..."

My experience is that a lot of "film buffs" paradoxically seem to wish Gilliam was still with Monty Python or would just stick to making "serious" science fiction. They seem to me to underrate this movie which sad to say, may be the last Gilliam film which I truly, richly enjoyed.

I've liked things in all his films since but this is the last one that sent me out of the theater singing. Almost literally: "I like New York in June, how about you?"

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Thank the lord For small mercies

One of the most frustrating things about getting rejection slips is that they're always so bland and formulaic. The reasons for this are at least twofold: The first reason is that most publishers simply don't have time to write individualized replies for each submission.

The other reason is that nobody wants a piece of paper out there with their name on it giving specific reasons why they rejected a manuscript. Just in case that manuscript then gets bought by another publisher and sells half a million copies.

I understand both these reasons. Nevertheless, it is frustrating. Often, you wish for just a little bit of feedback telling you why they feel your book is "not quite right for our line." That way, you might at least infer some suggestions (which you could then either take or leave).

However, it could be worse. In her recently published scrapbook, Courtney Love reproduces a postcard reply she received from the producers of the New Mickey Mouse Club in 1976:

Thank you for sending us your picture and qualifications for consideration for the SHOWTIME segment of the NEW MICKEY MOUSE CLUB. Since SHOWTIME will feature youngsters who have exceptional singing, dancing or musical ability, with a marked degree of performance experience, we regret that you do not qualify.

(Emphasis mine)

Well! Way to bitch out a 11-year-old kid...

24 + 60 = Five disturbing questions raised by last night's television viewing

One: On 24, I'm sorry, but exactly where does Jack Bauer get the right to be snotty because someone broke under torture? Virtually his entire M.O. is based around the belief that everybody eventually breaks under torture, sooner or later.

And no, saying "Jack was tortured by the Chinese, and he didn't break!" wouldn't cover it. Not even allowing for the real-world reality that Jack is the hero of the series and frequently depicted as well-nigh superhuman.

Within the reality of the series, Jack is a trained, battle-hardened (to say the least) field agent. Morris was not.

Two: Within the reality of 24, how likely is it that a highly placed political operative would be shocked-shocked!-at the idea of a conspiracy against a President? Not even allowing for all the stuff that we as an audience are privy to, enough things have happened in the world of 24 that would be public knowledge.

A conspiracy in that world would be about as surprising as this mess of a war is in ours. Even to a layman. And it seems safe to assume that a man in Lennox's postion would be even more "in the loop."

Three: With Chloe's callous (and kind of out of character even for her) speech to Morris, followed by his returning to work less than two hours after having been tortured: Are we meant to infer that people who protest after being tortured are essentially whiny little crybabies?

I think we are.

Four: Speaking of Chloe, since when is she a demolitions expert? And-

Five: On Studio 60, is there any way to interpret last night's episode as anything other than: Feel sorry for the poor, overworked, overpaid writer that nobody loves, with a drug addiction? I'd like to believe that there is, but I haven't found it yet. If you have, write in.



Monday, February 12, 2007

As mentioned in the past, I don't love Margaret Cho as much as some people

I think she's more hype than really funny or socially important. And if anyone ever asks me why, I think I'll just send them to this entry from her blog-where you can also shop for her DVD, clothing line, and book.

As you will have picked up by now, in a world full of death, sexism, homophobia, fear, racism, and alienation, there are few things I hate quite so much as bad writing.

improvisations in sadism

Hoo-boy. If you still watch "24," (special two-hour block tonight starting at eight, kids) and you want to continue watching...you may not want to read this New Yorker piece on co-creator Joel Surnow. A few excerpts follow. You should read the whole thing, though, if you can.

It's lengthy, and is likely to give you a sinking feeling that swiftly turns queasy. Surnow regurgitates (again) the same old what-if scenario pro-torture people use to justify it we've discussed before. Even though (emphasis in below quote mine):



Bob Cochran, who created the show with Surnow, admitted, “Most terrorism experts will tell you that the ‘ticking time bomb’ situation never occurs in real life, or very rarely. But on our show it happens every week.” According to Darius Rejali, a professor of political science at Reed College and the author of the forthcoming book “Torture and Democracy,” the conceit of the ticking time bomb first appeared in Jean Lartéguy’s 1960 novel “Les Centurions,” written during the brutal French occupation of Algeria. The book’s hero, after beating a female Arab dissident into submission, uncovers an imminent plot to explode bombs all over Algeria and must race against the clock to stop it. Rejali, who has examined the available records of the conflict, told me that the story has no basis in fact. In his view, the story line of “Les Centurions” provided French liberals a more palatable rationale for torture than the racist explanations supplied by others (such as the notion that the Algerians, inherently simpleminded, understood only brute force). Lartéguy’s scenario exploited an insecurity shared by many liberal societies—that their enlightened legal systems had made them vulnerable to security threats.



“24,” which last year won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Drama Series, packs an improbable amount of intrigue into twenty-four hours, and its outlandishness marks it clearly as a fantasy, an heir to the baroque potboilers of Tom Clancy and Vince Flynn. Nevertheless, the show obviously plays off the anxieties that have beset the country since September 11th, and it sends a political message. The series, Surnow told me, is “ripped out of the Zeitgeist of what people’s fears are—their paranoia that we’re going to be attacked,” and it “makes people look at what we’re dealing with” in terms of threats to national security. “There are not a lot of measures short of extreme measures that will get it done,” he said, adding, “America wants the war on terror fought by Jack Bauer. He’s a patriot.”



This past November, U.S. Army Brigadier General Patrick Finnegan, the dean of the United States Military Academy at West Point, flew to Southern California to meet with the creative team behind “24.” Finnegan, who was accompanied by three of the most experienced military and F.B.I. interrogators in the country, arrived on the set as the crew was filming...In fact, Finnegan and the others had come to voice their concern that the show’s central political premise—that the letter of American law must be sacrificed for the country’s security—was having a toxic effect. In their view, the show promoted unethical and illegal behavior and had adversely affected the training and performance of real American soldiers. “I’d like them to stop,” Finnegan said of the show’s producers. “They should do a show where torture backfires.”



[One] expert at the meeting was Tony Lagouranis, a former Army interrogator in the war in Iraq. He told the show’s staff that DVDs of shows such as “24” circulate widely among soldiers stationed in Iraq. Lagouranis said to me, “People watch the shows, and then walk into the interrogation booths and do the same things they’ve just seen.” He recalled that some men he had worked with in Iraq watched a television program in which a suspect was forced to hear tortured screams from a neighboring cell; the men later tried to persuade their Iraqi translator to act the part of a torture “victim,” in a similar intimidation ploy. Lagouranis intervened: such scenarios constitute psychological torture.

Please note: These are not "politically correct" "Hollywood" types saying torture doesn't work. This is the US military, the intelligence community, and former Army interrogators. But the bottom line is Surnow says he doesn't care how many experts tell him torture doesn't work, he simply doesn't believe it.

Discounting the informed opinions of experts so he can behave any way he wants to behave is frightening even in the creator of a TV series. Or rather, in Surnow's case, have Jack Bauer, patriot, behave any way he wants him to behave.

Rremind you of any presidential administrations you know?

He also says:
“There’s a gay network, a black network—there should be a conservative network,”
The man's on Fox and he thinks we need a conservative network.

After you've finished the piece, you may want to read this Hullabaloo post where Digby discusses it:


I'm not all that big a believer in the idea that sending bad "messages" to the troops should dictate what people in a free society are allowed to say or what the policy of the government should be. I think that "24" has its audience and that's probably just the price we have to pay for living in a liberal democracy.

But I'm not sure I think that the highest reaches of government (who have made a fetish out of criticizing Americans for "sending the wrong message" to the troops,) should go this far, particularly when they are constantly telling the rest of us that we should STFU:


Last March, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, Virginia, joined Surnow and Howard Gordon for a private dinner at Rush Limbaugh’s Florida home. The gathering inspired Virginia Thomas—who works at the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank—to organize a panel discussion on “24.” The symposium, sponsored by the foundation and held in June, was entitled “ ‘24’ and America’s Image in Fighting Terrorism: Fact, Fiction, or Does It Matter?” Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who participated in the discussion, praised the show’s depiction of the war on terrorism as “trying to make the best choice with a series of bad options.” He went on, “Frankly, it reflects real life.” Chertoff, who is a devoted viewer of “24,” subsequently began an e-mail correspondence with Gordon, and the two have since socialized in Los Angeles. “It’s been very heady,” Gordon said of Washington’s enthusiasm for the show. Roger Director, Surnow’s friend, joked that the conservative writers at “24” have become “like a Hollywood television annex to the White House. It’s like an auxiliary wing.”

Michael Chertoff thinks "24" reflects real life. For the record, Michael Chertoff also thought "the Bush administration did a magnificent job in New Orleans."

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Okay, let's hit it (Grammys post-show)

More-or-less off the top of my head:

The Police reunion: Well, the TV director who deprived those of us at home from being able to see their faces as they re-took the stage is an idiot. But man, did I have a smile on my face at the beginning and ending.

But whose fucking idea was it to run a fucking three-song medly by the Eagles (and not even done by them) when Stewart, Andy and Sting only got one? To say nothing of giving Justin Timberlake two songs. N

Nothing (much) against the Eagles, but...oh, and BTW, is it me, ot does the lead singer of Rascal Flatts sound just like Kenny Loggins (who I have even less against, but again...)?

Best line of the night: Just when I think the Dixie Chicks in general, and Natalie Maines in particular, can't get any closer to perfect, they win the best country album of the year, and she says, "Well, to quote the great Simpsons: Heh-Heh." ( a la Nelson Muntz).

Runner up: Ludacris thanking Bill O'Reilly. Heh heh heh.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers seemed kind of tepid to me, but as we know, I don't like (or belive in) rock music much.

I was especially impressed with John Legend, less so but still with Corinne Bailey Rae, and John Mayer remained...John Mayer.

But whoever had the idea of tributing James Brown with Christina Aguilera doing "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World" is some kind of genius and so was the performance. At the risk of sounding like a prude, I'm glad Aguilera has worked through whatever she was working through during the Dirty period. And is back to reminding people what a motherfucker of a voice she has.

She did look great, too, though.

Speaking of Grammy fashion, Scarlett Johansson, I'm told, wore "a navy-and-black cocktail dress with a fitted corset by Monique Lhuillier" and her tits.
Good news: Nelly "symbol of everything that is wrong with women today" Furtado didn't win anything.

Bad news: Gnarls Barkley decided to make some kind of "statement" or sumthin' by performing "Crazy" with a weird martial beat at half-speed.

Very clever, boys. I'll try to forget that the next time the good version comes on the radio.

Which should be any minute now. Whenever you're reading this, it should be any minute now.

And finally, Carrie Underwood showed me that by having missed her music, I'm not missing much.

That's the darndest thing I've ever seen.

I was going to say just three words about the Obama story on 60 Minutes tonight: Damn, he's good. I can't think of a question I wish they would have asked him, or one I would want him to answer any differently than he did.

That was all I was going to say. But then, towards the end, CBS smeared some of their advertising feces across the screen. As all the networks do in a show of contempt for both their audience and their showmakers.

The Senator and his wife had just been asked whether or not they worried that as a black candidate he would be under a greater threat of assasination. And over a shot of Obama speaking to a typically enraptured crowd, appeared these words:

"Amazing Race All-Stars"

Given the multiple meanings available of the word race, and the fact that Obama is definitely (and rightly) considered a star, this was a hideously inappropriate gaffe. Was it unintentional? I''m inclined to think so. My reading recently (most especially Truth & Duty) suggests to me that at CBS, news is very much under the thumb of the entertainment division, to its detriment.

I'd blame a tasteless advertising executive who wanted to promote a show without regard for context before I'd think that CBS has a division of the KKK. But intentional or not...it was a hideously inappropriate gaffe.

Grammys: For the record

Having reached the stage at which very few albums, however best-selling and/or critically acclaimed, are for me, I have, as they say, very few dogs in this fight.

Looking at the leading contenders...

Justin Timberlake is, at best, overrated. John Mayer seems to have a good sense of humor about himself and more power to him, but his music remains for people who thought Hootie & the Blowfish had just too much substance.

I still know nothing about Carrie Underwood, beyond having observed that she is much like a dead ringer for Mary Stuart Masterson of Benny & Joon fame.

I don't dislike most of the nominees, they just don't mean very much to me. With the exception of the nearly-perfect Dixie Chicks, of course. I will, however, be hoping that Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" wins a couple of its categories. Is it me or is that whole thing nothing but hooks?

And of course I'm psyched for the Police reunion. The last time they performed together was in 2003 when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I watched that performance from smack dab in the middle of the intolerable Tennessee.

I remember thinking that unlike some reunited bands who seem to strain trying to remember what they used to do, the Police could have gone back on tour the next day. It took four more years, but...

(As an aside: I read Sting's book, Broken Music recently. It's all right but Andy Summers' One Train Later memoir is actually much better. Surprisingly, because although I knew he was one of the best guitarists around, I never put too much stock in his being able to put words together.

Those of you who wonder why are directed to the childish doggerel monologue in "Be My Girl-Sally" and the unlistenable "Mother." He got better.)

Random Flickr-blogging 1610

No silly little captions this week, just one picture I like; one Words & Image.



Autumn in New Hampshire

Source



"And he thought he heard the echo of a penny whistle band
And the laughter from a distant caravan
And the brightly painted line of circus wagons in the sand
Fading through the door into summer"


--The Monkees, "The Door Into Summer"


Source

Jennifer Connelly's husband is sexually insecure.

Probably about the size of his penis.

The man who played murderous albino monk Silas in "The Da Vinci Code" brought a bit of his character to an exclusive Village restaurant when he lost his cool and roughed up a man whom he thought was hitting on his wife, superstar Jennifer Connelly, witnesses told The Post.


[Paul] Bettany - who was about 10 feet from Connelly, his Academy Award-winning co-star in "A Beautiful Mind" - heard what was going on and "completely lost his temper" with the man who approached her, the witnesses said.

"He grabbed the guy, shook him up and threw him against the wall," said a witness. "It happened pretty quick, actually."

Bettany screamed, "Stop trying to f - - - my wife" at the man as Connelly stood by shouting at her husband, one witness said.

"She screamed his name like 15 times," said one witness.

Guaranteed to raise a smile.

From The New Yorker: Seventy-Two Virgins, by Steve Martin.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

The fortune-cookie industry has lost its poetry

Actual fortune found in my nephew's cookie today at his granma's birthday party:

"You are faithful in the execution of any public trust."

Friday, February 9, 2007

I knew there was a reason I loved Toby, part II

From the Independent (UK) Online, here's a short profile of the great Richard Schiff, formerly of The West Wing, where he played Toby. Schiff feels, and I'm inclined to agree, that the first season of that series was the best, though it had a lot to offer all through the first four years.

(As mentioned previously, I stopped watching the series regularly after Sorkin & Schlamme left, so I can't speak to what happened after that)


"Back then, it was all about collaborative problem-solving," he says. "We were ahead of the game, and working 15, 16 hours a day, five days a week going deep into Saturday morning on this fortified Hollywood studio lot. Whenever there was a problem, you could say to Aaron or Tommy [Schlamme, the show's producer] if you were unhappy, and that problem would spark nine new ideas... Suddenly, you'd have an amazing script. The first year was always my favourite - there was a purity then - but I always felt that even our worst show had value."


As a schoolboy, Schiff, an early attendee at Black Panther meetings ("I stood out a little"), protested in Washington DC in the late 1960s, before becoming disillusioned with activist politics by "the constant in-fighting". When he returned to the White House as a member of The West Wing, it was, he says, "the first time I had seen DC without tear-gas". On one of those visits, Schiff remembers a strange moment when, in the first days of the Iraq war, he met President Bush's director of communications, Dan Bartlett, in the lobby of Washington's Ritz-Carlton hotel.

"I asked him, 'What do you think of your boss as a human being?'" recalls Schiff. "He had to think about that one. Then he listed about 15 really solid qualities about Bush - he's loyal, smart, a good friend, devoted to his job. "And then he said: 'I've been with him for 13 years, and I can honestly say that in that time, he has not changed one iota.'

"I thought, 'This is a man who was a drug addict, an alcoholic. Then he was in the National Guard, started an oil business at which he was a miserable failure. Then he owns a baseball team who never come in anywhere but last. Then he runs for President and wins, experiences the greatest attack on our country ever, and starts a war in response. You're telling me he hasn't changed in 13 years?' It was the scariest thing I had ever heard. It was, to me, the definition of insane."

I remember during the last Democratic convention watching one of the speeches (probably Kerry's) and wondering idly to myself what presidential speechwriter Toby would think of it. Literally at that moment, a TV director searching for famous faces in the crowd cut to a picture of Schiff watching.

Freaky.
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