I'm desperately, desperately old

MTV is celebrating it's 25th anniversary this year, but that's not what makes me feel old. No, what makes me feel old is that by way of tribute their satellite channel VH1 Classic (home of the fantastically invaluable We Are the '80s program) is going to re-run the first 24 hours of MTV programming.

I remember when MTV did that for their 10th anniversary. I'm desperately, desperately old. Meanwhile, USA Today has come up with what they feel are the Top 25 Moments In MTV History.

Herewith, a few of their choices along with my comments. And since MTV used to run videos, we're going to have one or two of those too.

24. Girl meets girl
Aug. 28, 2003

The moment: Madonna performed her classic hit Like a Virgin with Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards. The Material Girl caused a sensation when she shared an open-mouthed kiss with Spears.

Yes, sensational. In some countries in the world, the police still don't do much if a couple of lesbians get killed. In the US, they still can't serve in the military or, in most states, get married. But it sure is sensational when a couple of straight disco divas get it on for attention.

18. A big lil' stunt

Sept. 9, 1999

The moment: Lil' Kim showed up at the Video Music Awards in a one-shouldered purple number with an exposed breast covered by a pastie.

What made it really special: Tongues started wagging when she hit the red carpet. And then when Kim arrived on stage with Mary J. Blige and Diana Ross to present the award for rap video, Ross reached over and cupped and jiggled Kim's exposed breast.

I remember that moment. But to me, the best part was Ross joking "It's the new Supremes!..." As those of us who know something of their history thought "No, if that were the case, one of them would be dying penniless and insane and you'd be pushing the other one out of the spotlight on TV, Diana."

17. You gotta Love it
Sept. 4, 1996

The moment: During the red-carpet arrivals at the Video Music Awards, Courtney Love interrupted Kurt Loder's interview with Madonna by hurling her compact at them. The rocker stole the Material Girl's thunder when she stumbled on stage — babbling about everything from Madonna's shoes to her desire to be a candy striper — then fell down.

What made it special: Although Madonna maintained her composure, Love's brazen interruption marks one of the most embarrassing moments in VMA history.

Sez them! I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Courtney Love ought to be given her own reality TV show. Love, 24/7. Now that's a show that I'd watch.

16. Cornholio is born
July 15, 1994

The moment: On the animated Beavis and Butt-Head, a sugar binge causes the normally shy Beavis to yank his Metallica T-shirt up over his head and become Cornholio, a Nicaraguan rebel in search of "T.P. for his bunghole."

In my entire life, I've only ever thought one joke on Beavis and Butt-Head was funny. It was when they were watching the video for a certain catchy song from 1985...



...and Butt-Head asked, "Is this, like...children's music?"

And then there's the opening of what I remember as one of the best, most underrated game shows in the history of television...

9. 'Remote' turns us on
Dec. 7, 1987

The moment: With Remote Control, pop-culture freaks found a gem of a game show in host Ken Ober's basement. Also lurking there: future stars Adam Sandler and Denis Leary, in skits such as "Stud Boy" and "Andy Warhol's Diary."

And Kari Wuhrer and Colin Quinn! For god's sake, have some respect for a body of work!

(Forgive the exploitative nudity, but I was 16 years old in 1987 and Kari was very important to me)

6. A united front 2
July 13, 1985

The moment: The multi-venue music collaboration Live Aid, organized by Geldof and Ure, aired to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia. Bands such as The Who, Duran Duran and Hall & Oates performed around the globe, with main locations in London and Philadelphia.

What made it special: The outgrowth of Band Aid drew 1.5 billion viewers across 100 countries for the live broadcast, one of the largest-scale satellite linkups and TV broadcasts of all time. It raised more than $280 million.

All of this is, naturally, noble. But what those of us who were there at the time remember is that MTV's coverage of the event was the most critisized of the day, because of their inexplicable tendency to cut away from the perfomers to the non-entity VJ's faces for "reaction shots."

"Hey, Teddy Pendergrass is making his first public appearance since his near-fatal car accident which paralyzed him for life. Let's see what Mark Goodman thinks about that..."