Name: Maria Takagi

Name: Maria Takagi

Japanese name: 高树玛丽亚, 高樹マリア
Birthdate: 1978, 10-25
Current age: 31
Birthplace: Shizuoka prefecture, Japan
Profession: Actress, AV Idol
Height: 162cm
Weight: 48kg
Star sign: Scorpio
Blood type: A
Talent: snowboarding

Information
Takagi Maria was a super hot former Japan teen pop singer who’s sexy magazine ad’s and television appearances turned her into AV superstar.

Her fans adored her awesome figure, pretty face and superb acting. Maria Takagi aka Rika Inoue. Her debut adult video was the December 2002 release Super-Star for the Karen label. Maria Takagi was born on October 25, 1980 in Chiba, Japan. Maria Takagi was a super hot former Japan teen pop singer who’s sexy magazine ad’s and television appearances turned her into AV superstar. Her fans adored her awesome figure, pretty face and superb acting. Having measurements of 5ft. 3in, a 35-24-34 figure and D-Cup breasts doesn’t hurt. Maria Takagi recently retired to start a TV career in japanese soap operas on Fuji TV.

Maria Takagi TV Shows
Tokkyu Tanaka San Go (TBS, 2007, ep1)
Shichinin no Onna Bengoshi (TV Asahi, 2006, ep6)
Ns' Aoi (Fuji TV, 2006)
Keiyaku Kekkon (Tokai TV, 2005)
Aatantei Jimusho (TV Asahi, 2004, ep5)
Ranpo R Kyuketsuki (NTV, 2004)
Anata no Tonari ni Dareka Iru (Fuji TV, 2003)

Maria Takagi is one of our newest favorites. Hailing from the Chiba Prefecture she prefers the missionary position and has serviced a maximum of three guys simulatenously. That might sound tame compared other AV idols, but Maria exhibits her wild side through snowboarding, swimming and her special talents at applying finger pressure. Use your imagination to fill in the blanks! She didn't lose her virginity until she was 18, but this little gal has a great future in the AV buinsess with her delightfully natural body and innocent smile.

She looks younger than her real age.

Maria Takagi's underwear in bed photograph.

First Dates: First Date Do's & Dont's

Tips to make your first date go smoothly

First dates can be nerve wracking, and they often render even the most experienced of daters shy, silent and prone to making awkward and embarrassing mistakes that blow the chances of getting a second date even before the initial meeting is over. Here are some pointers to help you put your most attractive foot forward and make a good impression.

Do's

1. Do be on time. The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression on your date by being late. Tardiness implies that you don't care. Even worse, the person you're meeting may not hang around to wait for you to turn up.

2. Do make your partner feel comfortable. We're all a bit on edge during a first date with someone. Trying to put your partner at ease and get him or her to relax will also help you stay calm and enjoy yourself.

3. Do be an interesting date. The worst thing you can do is show up for a date with someone and then sit there all night and talk about nothing -- or, even worse, stay so silent that they might as well have eaten dinner alone. Don't make yourself easy to forget.

4. Do laugh at their jokes. Even if you've heard the joke 100 times or more (or it just isn't funny at all), laughing along with your date will communicate that you are interested in them.

5. Do keep the conversation alive. That dreaded silence, during which you're both scrambling to come up with something -- anything -- to say, can seem to last for eternity and will make both of you think the other person is boring. Jot down a few questions ahead of time. Practicing for the date can make all the difference.

6. Do take an interest in your date. Listen when he or she is talking. Be interested in what they have to say, and show how interested you are by asking questions about what they like to do, read, eat for dinner, etc.

7. Do go somewhere unique. First dates don't have to be to the movies or to a restaurant for a nice meal. You will make a longer, lasting impression if you get creative.

8. Do be confident. Confidence says a lot about a person. Being more confident will help you get through that first date with ease and let your partner know you're comfortable with who you are.

9. Do be yourself. You won't fool anyone by pretending to be someone you're not. Also, if you're planning to continue seeing this person, the real you will come out eventually, so you might as well start off by introducing them to who you really are, flaws and all.

10. Do stay safe. Take your cell phone with you, plan to drive yourself and let a friend know where you're going, who you'll be with and when you'll be back.

Don'ts

1. Don't be late. First impressions count, and if you're late, this will make your date think you're lazy and didn't care enough to plan ahead.

2. Don't talk about yourself all night. There is nothing worse then a person that loves to talk about herself all the time. How vain can you get?

3. Don't talk about past relationships. Maybe that's how you lost the last one. Nobody wants to hear you drone on about your ex and what she did or didn't do. Concentrate on this new person, and see if you can get to the second date.

4. Don't eat with your mouth open. It's gross. Your date is there to see you, not your food.

5. Don't bombard your date with extremely personal questions. Like you, they probably don't want to reveal too much about themselves just yet. If you like each other and want to continue the relationship after this first meeting, there will be plenty of time to ask questions and delve deeper.

6. Don't try to be someone you're not. So he likes dogs, but you're a cat person. Pretending otherwise will only make the other person feel deceived and turned off when they discover the truth. Find someone who wants you for you, not for who you're pretending to be.

7. Don't forget to thank the other person for the date. This is not only good manners but also gives you a chance to end it, if you're not interested -- or to ask them out on another date, if you are.

8. Don't propose marriage or kids, unless you never want to see that person again.

9. Don't pursue sex after your partner has said no. Period. It's tacky, and it proves you're a jerk.

10. Don't get drunk! As much as drinking copious of alcohol to calm your nerves sounds like a good idea, think about how bad you're going to feel if you miss most of your date because you're in the bathroom revisiting your meal. Additionally, this kind of behavior will show your love interest that you can't control yourself and don’t know your limits. It also isn't safe -- getting drunk and lowering your inhibitions is likely to put you at risk of unwanted advances, and you won't be in the right frame of mind or body to do anything about them.

Top Romantic Destinations: Favorite Places

Where to go for your next romantic getaway

Romance can be found everywhere and anywhere, its in the air that we breathe, the smiles people give to us and in the things that make us laugh and be happy with our partner. But sometimes romance is in a special place too. We may have found love and romance at home and abroad, on vacation or just in a moment. Yet there are some places that smell of romance, that exude love and simply are romantic destinations and so here we discuss some favorite places that fit the bill.

Just what makes a place a top romantic destination is open to many factors. The first of course may be the weather, warm and sunny appears to be favored by most. Lingering on a soft white beach under swaying palms appeals to all of us who undergo annual cold winters. However, I have been to destinations that have been snowbound, only to find them gorgeously romantic. For me, winter is a great season and my top romantic destinations include some fantastic ski resorts. St Moritz at Christmas is a great example as is Valmorel after a snowfall, or Zermatt on New Year’s Eve. So clearly then it is not just the weather that feeds us romantic feelings about a place though it is a factor.

A top romantic destination has to look right. A pretty village in the Alps is romantic and appealing; a New England village in the Fall is romantic for walking, a walk on a deserted beach on the northern coast of Koh Samui is extremely romantic to hold hands. Where better perhaps that a stroll along the Seine in Paris in early spring to feel overwhelmed by love and romance as you walk hand in hand with your partner. The same may be said of Barcelona in Spring, walking through the squares before the heavy oppression of a hot Mediterranean summer sets in. And here we find more clues in my words, walking and Spring! Walking of course brings a sense of communion and togetherness in any location or destination. We remember walks together fondly in many places whilst springtime is our own regeneration after winter. Springtime is a good season to find romance in a place.

Springtime is for many of us a wake up call, an out with the old in with the new feeling. A time for Spring cleaning, for freshness, for renewal. Clean air, sunlight and flowers. The earth wakes up and so do we. So we are often drawn to romantic destinations that obviate these sensory factors. For example, I have never been so alive as on visiting Amsterdam one spring when the small lanes were alive with the rich color of tulip flower markets. I was overjoyed with a sense of the ability to find romance there.

Romance in a place can be found from its history and architectural properties, which is why so many of the ancient and great cities of the world are poplar romantic destinations for lovers. From the Great Wall of China, to Paris, Rome, Florence, Milan, Amsterdam, Sydney, New York and Vienna, all have a magnificent historical heritage that pervades all and leads us into a sense of historical romance that requires us to take someone’s hand as we breathe in all around us.

So I think that the key elements of top romantic destinations are:

• Weather
  Beauty
  History
  Company
  Location

So whilst we live to find romance in the Caribbean and the South Seas, dreaming of white deserted beaches and swaying palms, trade winds and butterfly kisses at dawn or sunset, languid afternoons by the lagoon pools and tropical mischief on a languid evening, let us not forget that there are many destinations across the world that are not only romantic in themselves, but can emphasize the romance that already exists within each of us.

Here are 10 of my personal top romantic destinations and romantic places for myself.

Amsterdam in deepest winter
There are fewer places on earth more romantic than Amsterdam in deepest winter in my opinion. Ancient churches, frozen waterways, snow-heavy skies, shimmering shops all nestle along walkways through beautifully old streets in this most pleasant of cultural cities. Its a cultural melting pot where you can find romance on every corner. Combine ancient cobbled streets of lilting Dutch town houses, set against frozen canals, people scuttling along on cycles, starlit book shops crowding in sulky corners, fabulous food stores, eateries and restaurants, bars that are heaven-sent and the relaxed nature of the Dutch and it is a vibrant and exciting city ideal for a first break away with a loved-one. With bells tolling from churches at dawn, the shimmering waters of canals everywhere, ancient beautiful architecture, flowers on street corners, this city is most certainly picturesque. The winter and snows certainly add the topping to a place that already exudes history and you can imagine yourself with your loved on starring in your very own European cinematic romance set against a beautiful and vivid backdrop. Firmly recommended.

Hong Kong at Sunset
To many the romance of Hong Kong can be easily missed. A bustling metropolis acting as a gateway to a throng a different Asian cultures, Hong Kong certainly doesn’t stand still. But amongst it all are two of the most amazing sights on earth that should only be witnessed with your loved one. The first is sitting in the Peninsula hotel top floor bar on the Kowloon side watching sunset and darkness fall upon Honk Kong itself. As day turns to night you can take the hand of your loved on and watch as neon begins to light up probably one of the seven most wondrous views in the modern world. All taken with a Gin and Tonic. If this is how we find romance , then it's the best.

The other is to repeat the exercise of sunset but this time by taking the cable car to the top of the Peak. Go behind the peak café and restaurant to the viewing platform where you can watch sunset over Kowloon, but this time make sure that you kiss you partner for a long time. Because you will remember it forever.

Niagra Falls in Late Spring
Until you have seen the horseshoes falls from the Canadian side in late Spring, you haven’t lived. Spectacular this place is, beyond belief. Take your partner, book into the hotel at its side and spend the most romantic weekend of your life. Love and romance your partner here until they melt. I can’t add any more to this because you just have to take your loved one and go there – today. Why late spring? Well at this time of year the warm sun gives the entire falls a golden glow that makes it such a romantic place. Take a glass of champagne in one had and the hand of your loved one in the other ands find romance here for yourselves.

Anchorage Alaska on the longest day
Romantic destinations take many forms but I found the experience of Anchorage, a beautiful place in the summer, awe inspiringly beautiful. For me it is a place of love and romance as much as of breathtaking scenery. You may be surprised that I list it as one of my favorite romantic places but you just have to visit and relax in this beautiful place. There are so many things to do with your partner in this area that you will lose count, but I think that around June 21st when it remains light for most of the night is so much of an experience that it’s a time and place for something special. It is a top romantic destination for sure. It’s a place to feel alive and share something emotional and help that feeling of togetherness. A special place.

Bali in October
As far as romantic places go, this is perfect. This has to be one of the world's top romantic destinations, especially for couples. As it’s a tropical isle it doesn’t become romantic because of its climate, though it does reek of paradise after getting away from the airport. I’d point you and your chose partner straight towards the Bali Cliff resort at the southern tip of the island or Lovina Beach on the northern coast. Either places at this time of the year are quiet whilst the weather remains perfect. If I was to choose the perfect place for a date, to embody the love and romance of my relationship, or even maybe to propose, I’d choose Lovina beach at dawn in an outrigger canoe as the dolphins race past chasing tuna and the sun breaks the horizon. It doesn’t get any more romantic or special than this. Just save it to say 'I do'.

Paris in Early Spring

As far as romantic places go, Paris has to be a prime choice in my book. Traditional it may be, but romantic, it most certainly is. Spring time has to be the perfect season too. Culture, history, gastronomic delights, superb wine and walks beyond all walks. Take your partner to the top of the Eiffel tower, over to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa and then shoot about the metro visiting Montmartre and the Left bank then take a long walk together along the many tree lined boulevards. The essence of Paris is the simple act of being together walking, visiting and seeing and finding romance in private. Its special, it is one of my favorite romantic places at any time of year but I loved Paris in early spring and I think you both will too.

The English Lake District in Early Winter
The English Lakes in north-western England is loved by many during the summer months but the things that brings it romance is the solace that winter brings. But I believe it is a top romantic destination at this time of year. I find romance here when the ancient villages are quiet, the restaurants available and we can walk where we please. There are a plethora of well-hidden Lakeland hotels nestling in trees ready to cater as a lovers paradise. If you are looking for log fires, thick rugs, four poser beds and romantic walks round local lakes then go in November or January and I’d go as far as saying that it’s the perfect place to fall in love.

New York in February
What hasn’t been written about New York may not be worth writing. But for me New York in February is the epitome of classic romance and one of the top romantic destinations for anyone. How many romantic movies have been made in this city – lots, and this is for a reason. Why is it romantic? Easy, combine cold, snow, superb shopping and ice skating in central park and you have everything that is perfect about close times together. Sightseeing is unlimited, restaurants with tables for two are everywhere and I believe there is something special about wrapping up warm and getting outdoors with the person you love. If you are going to find love and romance in a city, its possible it will be New York. Walking in Central park in the snow has got to be a life long memory of how love really should be.

Cyprus before Summer
It’s the birthplace of Venus, what more needs to be said about finding love and romance. Stick to the west side of this island around Paphos for perfect sunsets, sun for 360 days a year, remote bays and fresh seafood. Top quality hotels abound and this is essential for many romantic destinations. But the single thing that makes this island romantic for me are the lonely drives by car up into the fresh alpine interior. Seemingly unexplored valleys, high passes and the sweet scent of pine everywhere, this is a beautiful place. Open the door and breathe, then kiss each other. Deeply. Definitely one of my top romantic destinations of all to find romance in a sunset.

Koh Samui in November
Why not round the year off with one of my favorite romantic places on earth. The island of Koh Samui in the Thai gulf is more famous for its near-neighbor which is the inspiration for the book and movie, The Beach. But the reason I list this as a top romantic destination isn’t the quaint airport with wooden huts in a jungle clearing, or the Golden Buddha on the northern coast, it’s the simple delight at this time of year of taking a small beach bungalow with your loved one and walking bare footed on white sand beaches and treading the first footsteps of the day. Or using a fallen coconut as a drinking vessel and play ball. Watch endless sunsets and find romance in the moment, eat perfect food in quiet surroundings and imagine you are both lost at sea. It’s a place to be with someone, to be quiet, to be solitary and to feel very much the love and romance of the place.

Dating Ideas From Inexpensive to Expensive

How to make a good impression without breaking the bank

The first date is not just about restaurants and movies. Here are some great first date ideas starting with the very cheap, more expensive to the extravagant:

1. Beach - Take a picnic, a bottle of wine and a rug, and spend the day catching the sun together. Or, you could take a dip together - all that splashing about is bound to be great fun.

2. Picnic by a river - Prepare a basket of goodies, a chilled bottle of wine and enjoy the day relaxing in each other's company.

3. The movies - Let your date choose the film. It will show good gesture if you don’t have the same taste in films.

4. Theme Park - Big or small, everybody loves theme parks. Triple loop roller coasters, dodgems, candy floss - the ideal date for the big kid in us.

5. Eat in - Show off your culinary skills and ask them round for dinner. Don’t overdo the candles and music, or you may frighten them away.

6. Indoor ice skating, or rollerblading in the park - You can lean against each other for balance and warmth.

7. A sporting activity that you both like.

8. Kite flying - My partner and I did this a few year back. It wasn’t our first date, but it was one of the best days we have ever spent together.

9. A trip to the zoo - Everyone likes animals so a trip to the zoo makes for a perfect date.

10. Local museum or art gallery - This is only a good idea if you are both interested in museums.

Expensive Date Ideas

1. Go to a concert - Take them to see their favorite band in concert and dance the night away.

2. Go for an expensive meal - Have her serenaded by one of the waiters with a bottle of champagne and a dozen red roses.

3. Go horseback riding - Take a trip to the nearest horse farm. Spend the afternoon horse riding and stopping to take in the scenery, and afternoon lunch in a local inn.

4. Candlelit dinner for two aboard a yacht - Take her out to sea. Put on the full works - captain sailing, champagne on ice and lobsters for dinner.

5. Take in a show - Get dressed up for the evening and go along to watch one of your favorite shows at a theater house. Or go to a premier of a big block buster movie.

6. Horse drawn carriage at night - Take a trip around the city and through the park, on a horse drawn carriage. Have it take you to a swanky restaurant and wait while you dine.

7. Under the sea - Go scuba diving.

8. Take to the sky - Go for a trip in a hot air balloon.

9. A trip to New York for the afternoon - Fly her to New York and back in an afternoon. This is the ultimate first date destination (especially if it is her first time there).

10. On top of the world - Prepare a basket of caviar, prawn cocktail, strawberries and cream, and champagne on ice, and take to the skies. Well, the top of the highest building you can get to.

Extravagant Date Ideas

1. Fly her to Paris and back - Take in all the sights that Paris has to offer. Finish the date with an expensive meal in one of the swanky restaurants in Paris.

2. Helicopter ride - Go for a flight over the city in a helicopter.

3. We're in the money - Dress up to the nines and go blow a fortune in a top casino.

4. Parachute jump - Take to the sky for the high of a lifetime. This one cannot be a surprise date, unless you are sure it is what they want!

5. Climb to the top of the world - Go mounting climbing on a clear summer's day. Don't forget the flag for when you reach the top.

6. Go swimming with dolphins - This has to be the ultimate experience of a lifetime and if you aim to impress, this is the way to do it.

7. Para-gliding - Take to the sea, have lunch, then the skies the limit.

8. Eating in - Hire a top chef and waiting staff, and have them round to your place for a meal they won’t forget.

Dating Advice and Top Dating Tips

Romantic Articles for Single Women and Men

Match? Match I hear you cry, is there such a thing? It makes it all sound like a game of Snap. Well yes I think there is such a thing. Who do we match with? I think the first issue is to know who we are and what we are about. Once we know this then we can work out who we can possibly match with. That innocent comment is where a lot of people fall down. I am often surprised how little people take a good look at themselves. You may feel that you perfectly suit Brad Pitt or Pamela Anderson but then do you really know much about them?

Sure we often want to match ourselves with people of certain look and physical properties and that is entirely natural. However if we weigh 300 lbs and have never seen the inside of a gym then I think its fair to say that we may not be the perfect match to a sportsman or a model. Why? Well simply because nature tells us that we match with likes. On a base level we are here, says nature, to procreate and so we select accordingly.

That of course on its own would be too shallow a premise to write this article but the first element of any match is physical compatibility. Matching with someone on a purely physical level is not enough to last. Sex is a part of any relationship to some degree so looks do matter, even if to a small extent. After all you must be able to wake up next to that person for months or years to come, and you must want to be able to make love to them in some form, even if its simply kissing. I often here some people say that appearance is not important to them and I am always impressed. What they really mean is that looks are not important as along as you like the look of that person already. Looks are only ever important if you do not!

Many relationships fail where sex is missing or unsatisfactory, where physical contact in many forms is lost. When that occurs the foundations of a relationship can be rocked so we must say that appearance and therefore physicality in any match is an important factor. The first thing you may look at when you meet someone may be their eyes, smile, teeth, hair, handshake, kiss and physique etc. They are all physical attributes.

The other problem about matching physically is that we may not truly know how physically attracted we are until much further into a relationship we are. It may be sometime before physical intimacy is shared and sexual contact occurs. Therefore an emotional, even love, match may have already developed further. But we do try matching with people, look at fashion. The way we dress and the way we appear in daily life speaks volumes about who we are. Maybe money is tight and we don’t have the cash to look our best. That is true. But what we can do for ourselves by way of presentation comes through loud and clear. Not making an effort is the biggest criticism I hear about guys on a first date. If a woman makes a great deal of effort then a man should respect himself and his date enough to look as good as he can do too.

Okay so we also know that in time appearance and the physical aspects of a relationship become far less important as we get to know a person emotionally and that mental contact with someone becomes far more powerful an influence. Yet initially matching with someone it is still extremely important. We all discuss, chat, talk, debate, joke, laugh, speak etc and it is all because we are identifying with each other and building the foundations of an emotional connection. It may be found in a shared experience or hobby, activity or event. It may be found in opposing powerful views discovered in conversation accompanied by profound respect and deep seated desire to extend this connection further. It may be that we share the same type of pet, a similar liking for certain foods even similar books we read, but they are emotional connections that are essential in establishing any connection. As we can see, initial matching is a complex scenario.

The next important factor in any match is location. I could match with someone right now in Australia, but unless I am in Australia then it doesn’t help me begin a relationship. I may consider flying to Australia to meet my match but then can I sustain my match and help us grow? Well of course that depends on the two individuals involved, their circumstances, position, age, regularity of meeting and planned future. The reality as we know for single people is that long distance matches tend not to work unless both parties come together quite quickly after meeting. I agree that some long distance matches do and will work really well, but it is not the norm. So what I am arguing here is that when we look at who we match with, let’s be reasonably certain that our locality to those we meet and match with allows for a relationship to develop. Whilst I may meet someone in Los Angeles who is perfect for me, unless I am prepared to move, visit often or relocate then maybe my match is not my best choice for me.

One thing often overlooked in matching with someone is humour. Yes we often specify that someone must have a great sense of humour. And everyone reading this will say, yes they have a great sense of humour. To them! And that’s the killer qualifier. The sense of humour in a high quality match between two people is where it is shared and unquantifiable. Where the humour is at a subtly understood level is essential. What makes one person laugh does not make another person laugh. And yet I watch so many people co exist without every laughing together and it makes me sad. A solid relationship will have moments where common laughter is essential, where the sense of humour between two people is almost unspoken. That I believe is one of the key ingredients in any true match. You may really be attracted to someone but of they don’t make you laugh you may be wasting your time.

Background sometimes has an influence in a good matching scenario because it has prepared you both with similar social experiences and belief systems. This may be true of schooling, parental experiences, locations lived in, travel undertaken, or even just activities and sports accomplished. This is a wide area and there are no definites but we do know from decades of surveys and evidence that people do tend to stay romantically within their own social strata. This means that people stay with those who they feel most comfortable with. This may be because their common experience and understanding promotes the feeling of a good match.

Outlook on life really is underestimated. If you both have the same goals in life you may make a great match. If you have differing career goals, travel plans, ambitions and personal goals, you could be wasting your time together. There is a huge temptation to offer to compromise when you really meet someone you feel you match with. This may be the wrong thing to do. Because what you are doing is compromising for now. You haven’t solved anything that is important to you, you have simply put it on hold. It may come back to haunt you. Then again you may feel terribly happy to move to San Diego, relocate to Seattle, or cohabit in Anchorage. Often life has no set paths and so this could be perfect to allow the match to develop properly. But the reality is that you both should hold some common opinions and values, maybe in terms of religion, social beliefs or simple views on life and children. Whatever it is, the more you share, the stronger your match is likely to be.

So in the end we meet someone. We like the look of them and they like the look of us, we laugh and chat together, we build an emotional link through conversation and knowledge and we are attracted to each other on multiple levels. We find we have a shared experience through our backgrounds and we share similar outlook on life and oh yes, we live in the same neighbourhood. Match made in heaven? Possibly and possibly not. Love is not just about matching, it is about instant chemistry, something enigmatic and mysterious, not quantifiable. For all the right reasons we can fall in love in an instant with the wrong people and then again, we can simply not find it within us to love someone who appears so right.

And for that, I have no answer.

Arranging A Date: Prepare With Quick Dating Tips

Our list of tips to prep for your next night out

1. Arrive before time, especially the guy, and be prepared and in an excellent frame of mind. If you are a little late apologize or call your date in advance. Sometimes these things happen. Being late is only the prerogative of the lady generally.

2. Once you are both there, relax and get a drink for both parties and settle in to some great conversation.

3. Be prepared to do a lot of listening. Everything you need to know is being told to you both verbally and non-verbally so by listening and watching for body signals you will know how things are going.

4. Stop thinking of the evening as one of huge importance. You are both there to get to know each other as well as having fun so be prepared to have some funny stories at the ready.

5. Do not love the sound of your own voice too much. Interrupting and dominating the conversation isn't always the right way to go. Let them tell their stories as much as you.

6. Do not discuss ex partners, previous relationships in detail or your views on sex. Particularly for guys, the subject of sex needs to be avoided, however much she tempts you. Less is more.

7. Remain enigmatic to a limited degree and do hold some information back whilst building up the mystery and levels of desire.

8. Look at your date and hold eye contact at all times. Giving singular attention is extremely desirable and exciting. The fact that there is someone on the next table whom you desire even more is not something you must recognize.

9. Lulls in the conversation are entirely natural and people will ebb and flow in a conversation. Having said that, it is your responsibility to be dynamic, interesting and witty.

10. Do not tell lies and do not try and stretch the truth. You will get found out eventually so do yourself a favor and keep to the facts that you can substantiate. You may have an overwhelming desire to impress but it is amazing how much people can sense about your truth telling.

11. Do not get drunk as you could ruin everything. There is nothing wrong at all with sharing wine or champagne but try and keep things sensible unless you really are both desperate to tear each others clothes off.

12. Always keep your date wanting more, so a first date shouldn't be a drawn out affair. A second date can always build on the success of the first.

13. Avoid being controversial or overly opinionated. Whilst you may have some very good reasons for your beliefs, they may not be shared, may present you in a bad light or simply be unnecessary at this time. Keep things light and entertaining. Avoid deep and serious discussions at this stage.

14. Never ever argue with a waiter, member of staff or appear aggressive or rude to others. This will not impress anyone or endear you to your date. Ever. Arrogance is to be despised.

Blind Dates: The Basics of Meeting A Stranger

Tips to help you actually enjoy your next blind date!

Your friend has just set you up with a guy you have never met and know nothing about, except what she has told you. You have those fears. What if I don't like him or what if I like him but he doesn't like me.

Well don't worry, we are here to help:

Be Open Minded

Remember this is a blind date. You have never seen this guy before. Don’t form a mental image of him or have high expectations. You will only be disappointed if he is not how you imagined. You will know within the first few minutes whether you are attracted to him or not.

Keep it Short but Sweet

Don't arrange to meet at the cinema, for dinner, or any where else that could keep you together for more than an hour. Arrange to meet up for a coffee, or during your lunch break. If you are not interested in the guy, then you can make a quick exit if you have only agreed to meet for half an hour or an hour, and if you do like him then you can stay where you are or arrange to meet up again.

Your Exit Route

It is crucial when on a blind date that you have an escape route. You could get a friend to call you 30 minutes into the date and if you don’t like him you can make an excuse and leave. If you do like him, you can tell your friend to call you back later. (Remember to always let someone know where you are). Or you could tell him that you promised your friend you’d go shopping an hour after you and he planned to meet. If the date is going well, pretend to go call her to let her know that "you’re not up to going shopping". Go shopping if you aren't interested. You could get some friends to turn up at the meeting point and if things aren’t going well you can leave with them. If things are going well, tell them you will meet up with them later.

Be Yourself

One of the biggest mistakes people make when going on a blind date is trying to be someone they aren’t.

When meeting someone for the first time, be yourself. Whether that means going all out, or remaining casual, your personality will shine through only if you’re not trying to be something you aren’t. While first impressions are important, do not feel the need to wear heels on a Sunday if you’d normally wear flip-flop sandals. He wants to know who you are; not who you think he wants you to be.

Better Safe than Sorry

Whilst going on a blind date can be exciting and fun, remember that you have no firsthand knowledge about the person you are meeting. If you have been set up through mutual friends, they will most likely have a rough idea of your plans. But just in case, make sure someone knows exactly where and when you’re meeting.

If the person you are meeting is a complete stranger, however, you need to take even more precautions. Make sure someone knows your whereabouts, knows the name of the person you will be meeting, and how long the date is scheduled for. You may want to have a friend join you, or "run into you" about 15 minutes into the date to check up on you.

Who's Paying ?

Make it clear from the start if you intend to pay for half of everything. You may not want to feel like you owe the guy anything.

Saying Good-bye

Parting after a blind date has the potential to be very awkward, but it doesn’t have to be! Should you kiss him, if you like him? Should you tell him you aren’t interested? It’s always best to do whatever you think feels right. If you are interested in going out with him again, make sure he knows it and tell him that you will call. If you aren’t interested in seeing him again, make sure that you let him know. It’s better to be honest then stringing him along to false hopes.

Getting to Know Him

Pay close attention to the things he says, which can reveal a lot. Discussing taste in music, film, food, and art can be a great way to find out if you two have common interests - or nothing in common at all!

You should also look for common "warning signs" when on a blind date. If the guy does any of the following, watch out!

• Talks about his ex-girlfriend throughout the date
• Doesn’t offer to pay for the first date (or the second, or third…)
• Speaks badly about his mother or ex-girlfriends
• Treats the waiters and/or staff rudely, or doesn’t tip
• Remember not everyone's tastes are the same, and there will be things about a guy that you do not like, such as lack of hygiene etc..

These are your own warning signs, so don’t ignore them!

Tips for Safe and Successful Online Relationships

How to make your Internet-based relationship work in the real world

At Top Dating Tips, we are here to help you be successful in dating and meeting new friends. It's what we do best. We want to take this opportunity to provide you with some hints and tips on helping you date safely, and successfully find that special person. You may wish to make and meet a new friend. Your main interest may be in dating online or dating in person, you may wish to find love and romance, perhaps the person you dream of marrying. It could be that you wish to travel or play sport or an activity and need a companion or other activity partner to come along.

The key to meeting new friends is to have fun, relax and enjoy. Find a dating site environment in which you can do these things safely and without any pressure. If you decide to meet someone there or in the outside world, then we feel there are some basic ideas you should follow for your personal comfort.

Okay, so what can you do to help yourself?
First you need to get replies to your emails and messages. Here are some tips you may find helpful:

• Think about how your profile is written. Ensure there are NO spelling mistakes in your profile or your emails and messages.
• Keep your description short but be completely honest. If you are not being truthful then when you meet, you will be discovered, if not before.
• Add fun and humor to your profile, and don't be too serious at first.
• Don't be afraid to state who you wish to meet and why. Most adults know the kind of person they are attracted to, even if they are not sure why.
• Tell people what you like and perhaps things you don't. Don't be offensive though.
• Change and edit your profile occasionally to keep it fresh, and try to be original.
• Add a photo to your profile. We find that a member with a photo can get anything up to 9 times the amount of replies, in comparison with those that do not include one.
• Be polite with messaging, and don’t make judgments about the length of time to get a reply.
• Please don’t feel you need to block someone just because they are too busy to chat this time. Be cool.
• Keep your first email short and to the point, perhaps humorous and interesting. Don't include too much detail at this point, and just a few things that you have in common. Make the email talkative and allow it to flow. Don't be too serious at this stage or too emotional.
• Do NOT include you personal details in an introduction email. Leave that until a relationship is established, and you feel very comfortable with the other person.
• Try and contact a few people at the same time, but always those who you have matched, not those who you have nothing in common with as they will not welcome your contact.
• Be honest and stick to the truth. It is all too easy to add things that at this stage are not checkable. However, you may get caught out later and ruin a fantastic friendship or romance.
• Always reply quite quickly to any messages.
• Don't talk about money or possessions at this time. Most people like or love someone for who they are, not what they have. We assume you do not want to find someone who simply wants you for what you can provide.
• Do not apply any form of pressure in an email, whether it be for a reply or a meeting. Do not be critical of their profile or photo. This will create a negative response.

Once you have mailed other members and are receiving their emails, then you may wish to consider the following:

Ensure Your Privacy is Protected
The information you supply when you register at dating sites is completely confidential. Your registration details are kept secret from all members and under no circumstances are made available to any third party. No member of staff should ever ask you for your password. They must NOT use your contact or email details for marketing purposes. Any member who matches you in their searches can only see what you have told them in terms of your personal profile, nothing more. Therefore, remember not to include you actual email address or telephone number in the text of your profile or in emails unless you are sure that you would like to take your friendship further. Dating sites generally cannot access your emails and do not have any control on what information you supply to another member. If someone you are in contact with is not giving much away then perhaps you should err on the side of caution.

Listen to Your Intuition
Don't overlook any gut feelings that come your way. Intuition is the thing we all use on a daily basis and we all trust our intuition often. It’s easy to get carried away when someone appears to be interested. Remember the rule, if you suspect something, you are probably correct. Trust your judgment. Listen to what you are being told. Ask many questions. Don't give too many details away if the other person tells you very little. If someone is being honest, they will be happy to tell you about themselves and their lives.

A key point is to make sure that you are enjoying your online dating. Never ever let someone pressure you. If you don't want to explain something or provide certain details then do not. A real friend will behave in a patient and relaxed way. After receiving an email, sit back and think about what you are being told, take your time and try and sense the person behind the email. And read their profile thoroughly.

When the Time Comes
At some point you may wish to meet in person the friend you have made. Remember the rule, you only have to meet someone if you really want to. If you feel uncomfortable about meeting, then don't agree to meet. Even if you have agreed, you can change your mind whenever you like. Perhaps you need to chat for longer, perhaps it would be better to use the phone first. Do not give out your home number, address, or personal details unless you are sure about the person you wish to meet.

If you do decide it's time to take your friendship a step further, then here are some things to think about. It may save you a great deal of time and effort:

Ask yourself these questions:
Do you feel you know the person well?
Have they answered all your questions?
Are they patient, good humored and fun?
Do you trust them?
Have they applied any pressure on you?
Do you know what they do for a living, and the area they live in?
Do you know about their background and family?
Have you seen their photo and have you more than one photo of them in different situations?
Have you spoken on the phone?
Are you sure they have described themselves truthfully?

If you can answer YES to these happily then maybe it is time to meet. Only you can decide that. Think about these general dating rules, and act upon them if you think they are a good idea :-

• Tell a person close to you about the meeting. Tell them where you are going, when you are meeting them, where the meeting will take place, what time you will be returning. Give a person close to you as much information as you can. If you have a mobile phone or are close to a pay phone then perhaps call to say you are fine and that everything is great.
• Agree to meet in a public place first. Perhaps a restaurant or bar or somewhere where there are plenty of other people. Agree to meet somewhere that you know, in familiar surroundings where you can relax and enjoy the meeting. You could arrange to have other friends in the same place but at a distance, so you feel more relaxed.
• Do not agree to be collected from work or home, and make your own way there and home on the first occasion. Perhaps get a friend to take you there and collect you afterwards.
• Restrict the time of the first meeting. Perhaps a lunch hour or a short time after work. This is useful if you decide that the situation is not favorable and you need to leave.
• If at any point you wish to leave then do so. Do not feel obliged to stay and find yourself feeling awkward. If you do not feel relaxed then you will not enjoy the date. You owe it to yourself to feel happy and relaxed, and it is possible that it may take a few meetings with different people before you find that special person.

Long Distance Relationships
Online Dating through most sites means that you can easily meet people from all over the world. This is a fantastic way of dating and perhaps very soon you may find yourself emotionally involved with someone who lives a long way away. Perhaps that may be part of the attraction even. However you should try and be practical. If the person lives overseas then ask yourself the question as to are you serious that you will travel a long way to see that person? If you do travel and find yourself more than happy, then how easy will it be to keep up the relationship? If you are content with this situation, and you decide to meet then there are some other things you may wish to consider:

• ALWAYS stay in a hotel you have arranged yourself, and never stay at their accommodation, however generous. This will allow you both to feel less pressure, to relax into the situation and find some common ground. You may have both made promises in mail or on the phone that may be harder to keep once a meeting has occurred. If possible, arrange the hotel in a secure area of the city you are visiting, and arrange the hotel yourself. It's always easier to escape a date that's not going well, when not staying with them.
• Provide the details of your hotel and travel arrangements to a best friend at home, and make an arrangement to contact them when you arrive, after you have met your new friend and when you are returning. Take a mobile phone if possible and keep in contact.
• Always be cautious if in any doubt, and never be uncomfortable about changing your mind and returning home at any time should the situation cause you any concern.

The Bottom Line
The bottom line? Be yourself and enjoy your dating. We know that online dating can be great fun, safe and immensely enjoyable. We have found that as long as the basic precautions are followed, then it is possible to travel locally, or indeed, anywhere in the world to meet a special partner or make new friends. The beauty of dating online is that the whole world is open to allow you to meet fantastic new people. Just use a little intuition and common sense. We hope you don't mind us offering some basic tips and wish you every success.

Dating Ideas - Great Places to Date

Tips on selecting the perfect place for your next night out

When faced with the prospect of coming up with dating ideas, it is always amazing how quickly one's creative energies can take on the attributes of the Sahara Desert. Yes, Saturday and Sunday need to be filled as does Tuesday evening. What have you thought of so far? Zilch!

Ironically, while our minds are buzzing with ideas, they are usually and not appropriate in this instance. You could have thought of flying to Niagara Falls for dinner, ballooning over Paris at dawn or swimming naked together by moonlight in your local pool. But weeks later, with a new date on the phone, you can think of absolutely nothing at all. Worse still, you have no preference, and start using phrases like, "No, that's fine. Whatever you like. It's up to you. You decide."

Stop right there. There is a danger here of appearing completely useless and about to fall at the first hurdle, so it's time to get your thinking caps on. It's time for dating ideas. Of course dating ideas differ depending on whether it is first date, second date or so on. Maybe you are hoping that the third date will be spent in bed, but lets not get ahead of ourselves. For now, we will stick to social functions and activities our parents would approve of.

The key to dating in the early stages is keeping it manageable, relatively inexpensive, and within manageable timelines. Particularly on a first date, you may wish to leave early, or so may they. An exit plan for both guys and girls is always useful. After the initial date, the key to good dating ideas is to make them sociable, relaxed, fun, public and open-ended. Let's face it -- why stop a date that is really going well. That is why I favor lunch for first dates. Lunchtimes are good because they have predetermined time restrictions and can be abandoned if necessary with little harm done. Saturday afternoons are great for a second date because that allows both parties extra time if things are going really well.

So with this in mind, here are some ideas for keeping things fun, real and enjoyable. Make your own list for your own city so that you have some ideas in advance. Always have a good food guide and know some nice daytime places to visit.

First Date

• Lunchtime convenient coffee shop
• Lunchtime restaurant
• Early evening restaurant

Second Date

• Weekend walk in the park and lunch
• The zoo and lunch
• Ice skating or bowling
• Dinner and a movie
• Ballgame or sports event and lunch
• Art gallery or museums

Third Date

• Amusement or adventure park
• Water park
• Beach visit and lunch
• Tourist attraction
• Theater and dinner
• Adventure activity

Great Places to Date: Ideas for Dating

What to activities to plan for your next date

Where are the best places to go on a date someone asked me the other day and I had to admit I didn't have a ready reply so I decided to give it some thought. I suppose we take it for granted that when someone likes us enough to agree to spend time with us that we just know where to go for some social company. The fact is most of the time we don't. As we are put on the spot we have some quick thinking to do to look decisive and original. Where shall I meet you, he asks and you are saying "ehm ehm -let me think". Well it occurred to me that we need a little planning here if we are serious about dating.

Usually I would just suggest my favorite bar or coffee shop or somewhere nearby as a great place to date, but without really thinking how that will affect the date and how it may help things go well. I can concentrate on my dress , on my chat, on my appearance, but the place itself is often ignored. And yet the place can make the date so it is time to think about this one.

Okay the first thing is, do you date at lunchtime or after work? If you date at lunchtime then I am supposing it is close to your place of work. If it is, then what establishments are near enough to be practical and at the same time atmospheric? Clearly some cities are better at providing great places than others. For example when I lived in Paris there were a million cafes to meet in, but when in Singapore I usually had to meet in food halls which lacked the same ambiance. I would always recommend dating at lunchtime if possible for a first date as there is a fixed time limit and an escape route implied. You can grab a coffee for 30 minutes and you don't need to worry about looking smart as much as you may be in work wear.

If this makes sense then spend a few lunchtimes going to a few places with friends to see which would suit you best as a work venue. Remember never to let on where you work in the early stages of dating. Keep safe. Try out a few small restaurants, tapas bars, coffee shops, diners and sandwich bars and see which you think would make a great place to check your new date out.

If you are dating after work then maybe it will be a bar downtown or an early evening restaurant etc. I would always advise somewhere informal to begin with so that you can both relax over a drink. A formal evening dinner for a first date is a recipe for letdowns in my opinion. There is a great build up, a lot of effort, expense only to find the date lasts 20 minutes. So don't bother initially, get into the groove of short snappy dates that are relaxed and a lot of fun. This will demonstrate your creative part.

Almost every major city has some kind of cool art gallery. In my opinion these are tailor made for dating and great places to date. You can appreciate the finer things in life, or look like you appreciate them, whilst at the same time spend time in the presence of your date whilst at the same time have a distraction in the art itself. Popping to the toilet also acts as the perfect escape route if you have made a grave mistake!

Comedy clubs are a great place to date. You can meet for a drink beforehand and relax and have a chat. You then have the marvelous facility of built-in comedic entertainment that rubs off as showing you as being funny too because the whole atmosphere lends itself to humor. Although you can't chat as much throughout the show it will quickly demonstrate sense of humor levels and you will be able to sense if you are on the same wave length. If you can laugh together you may be on to a winner.

I love going on dates to Zoos, particularly out of season. I don't necessarily agree with keeping wild animals in cages but as they are there and zoos are trying to keep species from extinction that it is the least we can do to try and help. But as animals show our softer side and are interesting to go see then they are the perfect backdrop for a date. There are plenty of discussion points, plenty of things to chat about which relate to past experiences and lots of walking together. There are small cafes dotted around and places to sit and talk.

Sports activities are great fun, especially if there is lots of physical involvement. Going bowling or ice skating are perfect dating activities. I have never been anywhere so romantic as ice skating in Central Park in the snow one winter. The great thing about bowling is that you have a challenge from the first moment. The man can show his masculinity by dealing with the ridiculously complex scoring computer whilst the lady can show her adept handling of a 12lb ball, usually in orange. No kidding, its fun and its a great place to chat as well as grab a coffee. Ice skating allows you to fall into each others arms and therefore I think it speaks for itself. The worse you are, the better the date!

So rather than depending on my list of places to date, grab a good food guide, and start looking around you at the places that would be great for a date. When someone agrees next time you will be fully armored with lots of choices that you have tested out. By being prepared you will reduce your stress levels by 50% before your date even begins.

Choosing the Right Person from the Dating Scene

How to put out signals that will attract the right partners

Okay, so you date people hoping that one of these days you will come across the right person -- the one you will make the greatest romantic connection with. But does it ever feel like you are going nowhere? Feel like you are lost and doomed in this whole dating business? Stop feeling sorry for yourself!

The reality of your situation is that luck has nothing to do with it. If you are like many people, you are probably dating blindfolded, without even realizing that you are doing so. If you feel unsuccessful and dissatisfied with your dating patterns, then it is time for you to take a few steps back to see where things went wrong for you. Think you have been doing everything right? Think again! If you look back, you might be surprised to learn that you got so caught up in just the whole dating experience that you neglected your true desires. What are you really looking for in a lover? What are your needs? What qualities are important for a person to have? What qualities are you willing to compromise with and accept?

Getting back in touch with what you are really looking for will help prevent you from staying in the dating scene forever. It is essential that you observe your actions and decisions, making sure that you do not continue to date certain people in the name of dating. If you find that you are not sharing the connection you crave with a person, then you must discontinue dating that person. Sure, you might feel bad for hurting that person's feelings, but what you must remember is that there is nothing too personal or emotional between the two of you anyway, so break it off. This is where so many get stuck, mistaking casual trial dates with a personal and emotional relationship. This may sound too businesslike for your taste, but this is the way it goes in the real world of dating. If you spend your time trying to spare people hurt or disappointment, then you have been doing it all wrong. This does not mean that you have to be harsh and rude, but it does mean that you have to make finding the right person a high priority.

This brings us to the next essential point in dating. While it is normal that you fix yourself up to make a great impression on your date, it is not the most important thing that you should focus on. In fact, so many dating singles out there worry so much about what their date will think, that they totally forgot the purpose of the date -- to find out whether or not they will find the connection they are seeking. Shift your focus. Observe everything about your potential mate. Do you like their appearance? Does their personality appeal to you? Do you feel that you are making a good connection? It is what you think that is important here, because you are the one looking for the right person. Leave what they think, up to them!

The fear of being single forever can cloud your good judgment, causing you to continue seeing a person who you know you are not entirely satisfied with. You will do this because you will try to convince yourself that maybe you have been too picky. You might think this person is better than nobody. Stop lying to yourself! You do not have to get stuck with someone you are not entirely happy with, nor do you have to be single forever. Being honest and up front from the beginning is what will get you where you want to be. Do not worry that you may scare off someone by telling him or her exactly what expectations you have. Look at this way: If they get scared that quickly, then it's a sign that they are not looking for the same thing as you are. This saves you time so you can move on to dating someone else.

As long as you get real with yourself, stop making excuses, know what your really want, stick to it and make it clear to the people that you date, then you will be safe from too many mixed messages, misunderstandings and frustrations. When you treat your goal of meeting the right person seriously and important, then you will stay motivated to find him or her. And when you do, you will finally be able to begin the kind of relationship that you have always longed for, needed and deserve.

Dating And Self-Promotion: Believe In Yourself

Boost your self-esteem and date more often

Life, my friend, is not fair. Instead life is one giant advert and in your case you are the creative director and subject of your own advert. No one else is going to do it for you. Get it right and you reap the rewards. Get it wrong and you will be ignored and forgotten. And such is the premise of life for the single dater. Life shouldn't be like this, people should love us for who we are and what we are. They should be able to see our hidden depths immediately and focus in on everything that we know to be good about ourselves. But like any product in the world today, you don't know about it unless you sell it.

Self promotion begins with the basic product for sale - you. If it is no good, no one will buy into it. You may be able to fool the odd one or two but that's about it. So the first step has to be to sort out your product and make sure it is as appealing as possible. Whilst I get lots of comments about how one has matured and is able to look below the surface, the surface is the first thing we encounter so it needs to be presentable.

You have to remember when promoting yourself that first appearances count, however much you hate that truth. And worse still another cliché, people do judge a book by its cover. Almost everything in our daily lives is marketed to us and its rare we get much for free (well this site being one of those rare exceptions!). So in short, you need to go into the bathroom and strip and take a good hard look at yourself. Once you have done that go and put your best clothes on and take another long hard look. The be ruthless about your judgment. You will never see yourself as others do but do be brave enough to ask closest friends what they think too.

Now at this juncture you must concentrate. You already know your good and bad points but be realistic, I know people should love you for everything you are, but lets get to that later. First of all, what can you change about yourself that you can live with and that is possible and that will help you appeal to your chosen market. Don't sell yourself short though. You want to be appealing to as wider an audience as feasible. The also make sure you know your market. If you are 50 and overweight you may not appeal to 21 year olds however much you wish you did. People generally date within a 10 year date range maximum. Beyond that and you are generally in rarity territory.

Okay so you know what can be fixed and you know your market and so the next thing is to go and do something about it. Good intentions never solved anything so get on that treadmill, join that diet class, get yourself out shopping, do get your hair cut and sort out your image. Once you have upgraded and maintained your image, your self confidence will soar. In doing so you willbelieve in the product you are offering - you !. If you believe in yourself you can do anything. Positive mental attitude is the most ignored and underrated thing you can achieve. You can turn yourself around in days and weeks buy feeling good about yourself.

Okay so a few weeks down the line you have recreated your product and you have selected your market and you know it will sell so now its time to go out there and market yourself. Self promotion is the name of the game. In the same was that faint heart never won fair lady, so staying at home in front of the TV never won anyone. Unless you talk to as many people as possible and socialize and join clubs and attend social functions and parties and events you won't meet people. If you don't meet people you won't be able to make impressions on them and allow them to see what you have to offer. Marketing and self promotion isn't just about image, its a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more chance you will encounter someone who wants your product - you!

You will find it easier to approach people because you believe in yourself and the more people you meet who express an interest so the more you will feel good. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. Keep at it and you will never look back. But whilst being sociable and meeting people keep in mind that your self promotion plan has a goal. That goal may be a new relationship. It may be many dates , it may be company or it may even be marriage and children. But whatever it is, part of your overall promotion plan must be to set attainable goals and then go after them. Everything in life takes time and effort to achieve. I know to all of us, some people appear to have it all, but apart from looks which we can't control, the difference between us all is largely down to pure effort. Talents don't mean much unless we use them.

These are some common traits in successful, well-liked people:

• They are happy
• They are fun
• They are reliable
• They make people feel good
• They have a good sense of humor
• They are organized
• They are confident
• They have direction
• They are good listeners and can assist
• They have goals and ambition
• They are dynamic and spontaneous

And remember that if things do take time, your life has already changed for the better and you are well on your way to meeting the person of your dreams. I am sorry to suggest that we view ourselves using the language of commerce as it is somewhat tasteless but it is a simple truth about our modern society. Learn from the world about you to make yourself the most attractive you can be.

When you promote yourself to people when dating try and do the following to assist you in being a successful dater:

• Be nice to all the people you meet
• Meet as many people as you can
• Learn to be sociable and willing
• Learn to smile at people naturally
• Be kind and considerate and generous
• Learn to listen and be open minded
• Lean to like yourself
• Change the things you don't like about yourself
• Give yourself a makeover and be ruthless if necessary
• Don't stay indoors unless necessary
• Learn about what makes people popular and copy their methods
• Try to be happy and content with who you are as a person
• Remove negative aspects and influences in your life permanently
• Set attainable goals for yourself
• have a mental image of how you see yourself in 3 years time and work towards it every day
• Don't suffer fools gladly though. You are not a fool either.

Does Your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?

Thoughts on finding

I have a real difficulty with the subject of 'The One' at the moment because I am hearing the phrase mentioned daily yet I think it really has got out of control. I think we are mostly guilty of secretly setting our sights on the perfect person for a relationship and acknowledging anything at all resembling second-best as simply not acceptable at all. In fact we probably discount most people we meet without a second glance. No chemistry! Well not acceptable for us anyway - that's because we are special. The trouble with this contemporary outlook is that it is based on a completely unrealistic set of expectations with goalposts that move by the day (or second - Ed.!).

Let is say that you are 30 and you have had two or three relationships previously. You have a semi decent career that is providing you with a reasonable lifestyle. You have a good set of friends, certain financial independence and a wide and varied set of ideals and tastes that are sophisticated and intelligent. You know what you are about and you know where you may be going. Okay great. So the problem is that you are looking for 'The One'. You are looking for the person who will compliment your lifestyle, your outlook, will be able to bring something to your already hectic lifestyle but will never ever ask you to compromise.

You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.

The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.

Ask people to describe their perfect mate and they struggle. I have seen a lot of pseudo-spiritual comments lately particularly from women when describing their ideal partner. Think of phrases such as "soul mate" and how often they are used (see below). Its almost like there is a cerebral match that is not defined in physical terms that allows some form of 'communion' or 'union' between 'two souls' at an intellectual and emotional level. Many women friends have said that there needs to be a deep 'connection' or 'chemistry' between them and their partner. Nothing definite there then.

I asked a friend how she defined "The One' and this is what she said:

"The one is a meeting of two minds, bodies and souls, whereby both persons find themselves drawn to each others auras. We want to find the text book mate - everlasting love - our spiritual ideal. As women, we can be easily kneaded like dough and can be moulded as we still have this feminine desire to be needed and loved. We love men's eyes because eyes are the gateway to your soul, piercing yet intuitive."

This statement is extremely interesting not only because of the spiritual notions expressed in a woman's definition of The One but also because she states that women still have a desire to be wanted by men. This leads me to think therefore that a man is still expected to act like a man.

Another girlfriend expressed this view about The One:

"mind you, we have a lot more to lose which is why we harp on about the 'one'. Well, you know about the biological clock, well we have to invest time to find out about a guy to see if he worth our while."

Ah, now things are becoming clearer. Women are looking for the perfect man to make a commitment with because they would like to start a family and don't want to risk getting it wrong. This makes much more sense. To this end I admire the search for a spiritual match and can see its fundamental existence may be critical. Well, except for one thing:

You may remember in a previous article that I tested this spiritual connection and its primary importance out. I simply registered with a well known Internet dating agency and posted my profile with my photo. My profile was genuine and kind and loving and gentle but had a lot added about soul mates and partnerships etc. I am an average to quite good looking guy and received a few matches and emails and messages along the way. After a few months I then altered the photo on the profile from my own to one of a male catalogue model. In the space of one week I had around 180 email, offers of a date and letters with some women almost throwing themselves at me. What horrified me though was that some of these women had already seen this profile with a different photo and ignored it and more importantly the women who got in touch talked about how "spiritually alike" we were and how I appeared to be "their ideal soul mate".

They didn't know me, we had never chatted to me yet they thought I was ideal. These girls had clearly read my profile but the fact was, over 180 women were simply swayed by the way I looked. It had nothing to do with my personality and outlook or any of the details about me whatsoever. Yet to them I was The One. It doesn't feel good to be found out does it! So consequently I have come to the conclusion that many women are indeed searching for "The One". They are looking for that spiritual connection - as long as you are gorgeous and handsome and have a great career.

It is not fair to be too critical of this state of play because I believe the concept of 'The One' has been borne out of a modern liberation of women where they are now able to pick and choose exactly who they want to be with. No woman has to 'make do' anymore and society has evolved and rightly so. The main contention I have is that it is as ruthlessly shallow and misguided as men have ever been accused of in the past. Women do want a good looking man who is in shape. They do want someone who is fun and sexy and a good career and they do want a man who understands commitment and responsibility. But whether they in fact find him is another matter altogether.

I am often told by girlfriends that 'I am happier single than accepting second best'. What is second best? Second best appears to be everything that isn't perfect in the eyes of the beholder. Maybe that means I am second best and if so maybe I should start to feel I have issues! One friend told me this week that she was willing to lower her sights ever so slightly as she gets older but in general she would not be lowering her standards.

Again it ties in with 'the One' who epitomizes all the characteristics of the ideal man. When setting a precedent of standards in dating, people set themselves up to be constantly let down. It is unlikely in the short term that anyone will match their checklist because however great the date has just been, there may be someone waiting who is even better, who is 'the One'. Dating is a chemical reaction. It isn't about checklists, it isn't about computer date matching, it isn't about predetermined ideas about people. It is about communication and intellect and physical chemistry and instant emotions.

The truth is, we are beginning to have a dangerously lonely generation of ThirtySomething women with few partners and absolutely no willingness to compromise. You can blame men all you like, but seeking perfection doesn't guarantee happiness either. The issue ultimately is how these maturing generations will deal with lack of children in their early 40's after leaving things too late. How will they deal with a half lifetime of being single. How will they deal with the fact that their looks are fading and their attitudes have simply left them isolated and unmarried. What we are about to get in my opinion is a potentially troubled generation of people in their 40's and 50's who are still single and who have lost their sense of reality about relationships.