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Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday the 13th jigsaw Part III: A New Dimension In Terror...

I have here a lettered list of 13 thriller/horror/action/slasher/mystery/monster/epic space opera movies, followed by a numbered list describing scenes from those movies-often but not always of killings. Your job: Fit 'em together.

A. Body Double

B. Halloween II

C. Saw V

D. Friday the 13th (the 1980 version)

E. Shoot 'Em Up

F. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

G. Saw

H. Resident Evil: Extinction

I. Halloween (the 2007 version)

J. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

K. Monster Squad

L. Saw III

M. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

1. A thriller's rather stupid alleged hero, an actor, takes a job on a porno to investigate a killing. The "porno," somehow, turns out to be at least as much a video for Frankie Goes to Hollywood as a porn film...

2. We see a detective in a vicious fight with a killer's helper, a woman, who leaves him for dead until he angrily shouts after her and she turns and walks back to him...

3. A future genuine movie star gets an arrow through the neck from under the bed in which he's laying.

4. The evil killer is ambushed by the FBI and exploded into many parts...and that's the first thing that happens.

5. A woman who, as a child, played in one of the only later parts of a thriller series worth a damn, plays a girl almost half her age in a remake of the first.

6. A nurse is drowned in a (scalding) hot tub.

7. An actor who will go on to be a star in a popular television series is about to kill a man. Asked why, he answers, "It's the rules." And then another man, despite having been shot recently, beats him to death.

8. A man stands above a woman and roars "I am the future!"

And she replies: "No. You're just another asshole."

9. A magic ritual is disrupted when the virgin recruited for it turns out to be, well, not so much of a virgin as she at first said...

10. Not even the younglings survive.

11. A cherished boyhood icon is raped.

12. A dapper movie star spanks a woman in public, in order to create a distraction so another woman and a baby can hide.

13. You know all those movies and television shows you've seen where a character is locked into a room with the walls closing together? They always manage to stop the walls or get out before being crushed, don't they? ...Not this time.

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