Oh, my god.

Cowell Says He's Bigger Than Springsteen

Simon Cowell says he's bigger than The Boss. In an interview to air Sunday on CBS' "60 Minutes," the "American Idol" judge says he's worth five times more to Sony BMG than Bruce Springsteen.

"I sell more records than Bruce Springsteen, sure," Cowell says of the 57-year-old rocker, who signed a contract that was reported to be in the neighborhood of $100 million.

"I mean, in the last five years, I've probably sold over 100 million records. If (Springsteen) got one hundred (million dollars), I should have got five hundred (million dollars)," he says.

Ok. I never cared that much about Cowell in the past. I don't watch American Idol because their make of prefabricated pop stars, by and large, doesn't win my affection.

(I have no problem with prefabricated pop stars as a rule: I own several Monkees albums and I'm not ashamed of that fact. I thought the Spice Girls were dumb but only in the best way. Even fucking N'Sync had as least one dance mix I liked. It's just AI's model I can do without 98 times out of 100.)

But his icon has fallen deep enough into the consciousness that I know his persona is, I'm sure he wouldn't mind me saying so, a douchebag. And he's making a wonderful living being that way. Fine.

Bruce Springsteen doesn't exactly get my wheels turning either, but he's someone I respect. I can tell he's a great showman, I think he tries to use the riches rock has brought him for good things, and I don't begrudge him any of it. I just don't get the urge to sing along to Born In The USA that much anymore.

And...no doubt it's the fact I was just rereading Love All The People that's got this lodged in my skull. Bill Hicks had several wise sayings on the subject of artists vs. salesmen. But can Simon Cowell really not see the difference between selling eight to nine million records as an artist (which Springsteen did with his breakthough Born To Run album, for example) and selling 100 million as a salesman?