"...you really want to reach in and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. Makes 'em absolutely crazy."

or:

Mystery Gay-Bashing Theatre 3000

or: Not doing fine, Oklahoma

Republican Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern:

The homosexual agenda [Loud snap] is destroying this nation. OK? It's just a fact.

She's right of course. I remember when the homosexual agenda marched us towards war against Iran.

[Volume increases] Not everybody's lifestyle is equal, just like not all religions are equal.

And it's the homosexual agenda that is destroying this nation. Not attitudes like that.

Uh and I'm not anti, I'm not gay-bashing, but according to God's word that is not the right kind of lifestyle, it has deadly consequences for those people involved in it, they have more suicides, uh and they're more discouraged, there's more illness, their uh lifespans are shorter, you know?

A choice of replies:

First, say it before, say it again...whenever anybody says something like "I'm not gay-bashing, but..." 98% of the time, it means "I'm gay-bashing, and..."

Second (and this one I admit is kind of just for me): My god. She's been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It's, it's, it's not a lifestyle that is good for this nation.

Why can't these gays live their lifestyle in God's way, like Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears and Valerie Bertinelli?

'Matter of fact, studies show, that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades.

Maybe not. But during those few decades, their apartments looked fabulous!

So it's the death knell of this country.

As opposed to oh, say, the needless slaughter of thousands of soldiers. Yes, I can certainly see how that would be a threat. How great a threat? Funny you should ask...

I honestly think it's the biggest threat even, that our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam, which I think is a big threat. OK?

You know what's weird? In a sense (though not one which actually makes sense), I know what she means. Think about it. If the point of terrorism is to provoke overreaction; excessive irrational fear, then clearly homosexuality has done its work on this poor woman.

I'm not saying she has any personal relationships with gays that might have put the fear of god and the mighty force of denial into her...I'm just saying she's married to a pastor (Dr. Steve Kern of Olivet Baptist Church).

Because what's happening now, they're going after er uh in schools - two year-olds!

You know why they're trying to get early childhood education?

Um...so their children can be educated early?

They want to get our young children into the government schools so they can indoctrinate them!

And by god, that's what the churches are for.

I taught school for close to twenty years and we're not teaching facts and knowledge anymore folks, we're teaching indoctrination. OK?

How scary is that...not that we're teaching indoctrination, but that this know-nothing ignoramus (if that's not redundant) not only represents her state politically, but used to be a teacher?

And they're going after our young children, as young as two years of age...

There's an undercurrent here. Sure, on the surface, she's talking about the idea that homosexuals are

try[ing] to teach [kids] that the homosexual lifestyle is the acceptable lifestyle

(Actually, it's an acceptable lifestyle...)

But really, this is about the bigotry of equating homosexuality with child molestation. Further to what I was saying yesterday...sometimes I can't believe the shit that still gets thrown around in 2008.

The fact is, and has been for decades, the vast majority of sexual molestation of children is inflicted by heterosexuals. But it's okay, because it's not gay.

You know, gays are infiltrating city councils.

They got the idea from those who want to challenge evolution in science classes.

I tried to introduce a bill last year, that would notify parents, uh schools had to let parents know what clubs their students were involved in.

And the reason I did that bill, primarily, was this, we had the Gay-Straight Alliance coming into our schools.

And if there's one thing we can't stand, it's gays forming alliances with straights.

Kids are getting involved in these groups, their lives are being ruined, their parents don't know about it. So I introduced a bill that said you have to notify all clubs, and things.

Okay, open contest. The first person to send me five documented examples, from mainstream sources, of kids' lives being ruined because of their involvement with the Gay-Straight Alliance (or like clubs) wins.

The prize is that you get to pick three subjects to see me address here. It's not exactly American Idol, but then neither are my viewing figures.

And one of my colleagues said, "Well, you know we don't have a gay problem in my community, so that's why I voted against that bill."

Well you know what? To me that is so dumb. If you've got cancer or something in your little toe, do you say, Well you know I’m just gonna forget about it, 'cause the rest of you's [not a word-BV] fine?

Wow. So let me get this (you should pardon the expression) straight. Gays are worse-than-terrorist pedophiles equatable to a disease that kills thousands of Americans every year and causes the suffering of millions. Lady...go to bed, would you please?

It spreads! OK?

And this, this stuff is deadly, and it's spreading and it will destroy uh our young people, it will destroy this nation.

She sounds like Brad and Janet before they spend the night in Frank's castle...