Oh, good. Michael Medved has weighed in.

No play on words intended. Medved, the right-wing film critic with whom I once enjoyed a screening of the film Tomcats, has lent his voice in support to Tim Hardaway. Hardaway is the NBA player who recently opened his mouth and exposed the depths of his hatred for homosexuals.

Medved's thesis is that the "no openly gay guys in the locker room" policy makes sense, and to prove it he invokes the wisdom passed down by T-shirts through the ages, "No Fat Chicks." Yes. Medved feels,

The ill-favored, grossly overweight female is the right counterpart to a gay male because, like the homosexual, she causes discomfort due to the fact that attraction can only operate in one direction.

Well! As you might imagine, Shakespeare's Sister has some useful contributions to make to this discussion, including:

I love the presupposition that fat chicks and gay dudes automatically want to fuck NBA players, and that NBA players are so insecure that even if someone to whom they weren't attracted was in their vicinity, they couldn't begin to function. In fact, I just love the entire idea of straight men who are made uncomfortable by the mere presence of someone wanting to fuck them whom they don't want to fuck. All I can say is that these assholes would crumple if they had to spend a week as a woman, getting chatted up, having their space invaded, being subjected to unwanted touching, and all other manner of unsubtle displays of attraction by, well, them. It's precisely the kind of drooling, moronic Neanderthals who proffer asinine arguments like this one that have the least compunction about aggressive horniness—which is, I suppose, why they can't imagine that there exist people who, even if they are attracted to someone, don't feel compelled to practically hump his or her leg to show it.

Yes, that's the brains and "balls" she could have used for John Edwards if he had enough of either, in other words, if he weren't such a...you know.