What I want to talk about is why I find myself with surprisingly little interest in seeing the new Charlotte's Web or Eragon. And I'll acknowledge up-front Web's been getting generally good reviews, and it's entirely possible that I'm "wrong."
Beyond the coincidence of their opening at the same time, there are a couple of connections between them. Both are based on popular children's books, one I've read, one I have not.
And in both cases, my resistance to seeing them stems largely from the realization of a non-human character.
Look, I'm an archnaphobe from way back (I trace it to a television viewing of Tarantula at too young an age). When reading the book by E.B. White I could keep the picture of Charlotte in my mind's eye in such a way that I could deal with it. I probably did it subconsciously.
Hanna-Barbera had the good sense to anthropomorphize her enough that I could do the same thing. The new movie has a CGI, realistic-looking spider seen in close-up. That's just fucking creepy, whether Julia Roberts' voice is coming out of it or not.
As for Eragon, I haven't read the book, but based on the TV ads, I just want to ask: How is it possible that in something like almost 60 years of modern filmmaking, the one-and-only good onscreen dragon is the one in Dragonslayer?
Dragonheart, which looked like it was going to be so cool in theory, ended up being fucked by its director and Reign of Fire was just stupid. Dragonslayer's only a good movie, not a great one, but it makes them look sick, and the dragon puts them all to shame.
Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! (I like dragons a lot. Have I mentioned that to you people?)
Seriously. Did I miss one?
(Apart from an unjustly obscure animated short I saw at a festival back in 1991, Denny Goes Air Surfing. Which, believe you me, if I could find online I would post here in a milisecond.)
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