And now...a brief word from the boys and girls at Studio 60

For those of you who aren't watching (and why not?), this past monday's episode of Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip ended with the cast of the show-within-the-show, joined by a background chorus, performing this parody:

"Modern Network TV Show"
Lyrics by Aaron Sorkin
(to the tune of "Modern Major General") Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan

Cast: We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show
Each time that we walk into this august and famous studio.
We're starting out from scratch after a run of twenty years, and so
We hope that you don't mind that our producer was caught doing blow.

Chorus: They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing blow.
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing blow.
They hope that you don't mind that their producer was caught doing mounds of blow.

Cast: Yes, it's hard to be a player when at heart you've always had a hunch
To bite the hand that feeds you is a scary way of doing lunch.
But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show.

Chorus: But still when they walk into this august and famous studio
They'll be the very model of a modern network TV show.

Female Soloist (Harriet): I am a Christian, tried and true, baptized at age 11.
So unlike the lib'rals, gays, and Jews, I'm going straight to Heaven.
(She's joined by two other women in the cast): But if you feel that you've been cheated and our sordid content lets you down
We'll hap'ly do the favor of an intellectual reach-around.

Chorus: They'll hap'ly do the favor of an intellectual reach-around.
They'll hap'ly do the favor of an intellectual reach-around.
They'll hap'ly do the favor of a hundred dollar hooker's reach-around.

Harriet (spoken): "That wasn't the same thing we said!"

Chorus: They'll hap'ly do the favor of a verbal euphemistic reach-around.

Cast: We know the Evangelicals are lining up to tag our toe.
And then the corporations will not hesitate to pull their dough.
But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show.

Chorus: But still when they walk into this august and famous studio
They'll be the very model of a modern network TV show.

Cast: But still when we walk into this august and famous studio
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show.

(Thanks to Pab Sungenis for posting the lyrics to the Aaron Sorkin mailing list.)