Well, the "kinder, gentler" Second City reality series from Canada took a few turns tonight; one was kind, one was gentle...one was neither.
The not-so-nice, in fact mildly unpleasant one was that Joe Flaherty was replaced as a judge by Dave Thomas. Thomas seems to have been brought in to be the bitch, but I just can't take him seriously in the role. It seems like a character he's playing, like Doug McKenzie or more like Rex Banner, because someone decided the show needed to be more like AI.
Don't do it, Canada. Don't sell out your people's birthright of joy, and this show's antidote to pessimism, in hopes of getting a little more space in the peridoicals. It's just not worth it.
Neither was an extremely brief and meaningless appearance by Colin Mochire, who I used to enjoy so much, but still haven't forgiven for sucking up to that repulsive truth-twisting piece of toxic trash, Karl Rove.
BTW, I know (or at least I'm pretty sure) none of you are watching this, making these posts an instance of my talking to myself even more than usual. But frankly, I kind of like the feeling of being the only man in North America who's paying attention to it.
If any of the cast-members are Yahoo! searching themselves, I still like Jeannie Cole and Kayla Lorette in particular. Lorette seems best at listening in scenes, and both got the most laughs out of me. Though, it would be better-if obviously impractical on a one-hour weekly show-if I could see more of the sketches.
Oh, and the nice turn that the show took tonight is that the queenie guy who I said last week I wanted to see eliminated...was eliminated.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here
A dismaying statistic brought to us by the good people at Media Matters:
(Hides face in hand) Sigh...really? Really? This is what we're going to talk about when we talk abour Mrs Clinton? Nothing about her being a centrist masquerading as a liberal Democrat or, once again, the war the war the war the war?
Nothing about the gratuitious swipes she's had to endure? No concern over whether she has good insticts?
We're just going to talk about tits?
I have reached a decision. This blog is now officially endorsing for president in 2008...
A Liz Hurley/Tara Reid ticket.
If we're going to go to Hell, we might as well take the express train.
(And I know, you say to me, "But Ben! Elizabeth Hurley is not an American citizen!" To which I reply, watch the schoolgirl skirt scene in Bedazzled, then see how much you care.)
From 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. ET on July 30, MSNBC devoted a total of 23 minutes and 42 seconds to segments discussing Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's (D-NY) "cleavage."
(Hides face in hand) Sigh...really? Really? This is what we're going to talk about when we talk abour Mrs Clinton? Nothing about her being a centrist masquerading as a liberal Democrat or, once again, the war the war the war the war?
Nothing about the gratuitious swipes she's had to endure? No concern over whether she has good insticts?
We're just going to talk about tits?
I have reached a decision. This blog is now officially endorsing for president in 2008...
A Liz Hurley/Tara Reid ticket.
If we're going to go to Hell, we might as well take the express train.
(And I know, you say to me, "But Ben! Elizabeth Hurley is not an American citizen!" To which I reply, watch the schoolgirl skirt scene in Bedazzled, then see how much you care.)
Monday, July 30, 2007
Random Google image search-blogging
"How could the cute girl have meant what she said about 'if you hit on me one more time?!" Tom asked himself, preparing to give it one last school try. Meanwhile, Chris thanked the Goddess for letting her be here to see this, while Kari just...waited...
Some days you just know god's fucking with you
We have here, a picture of two good-looking young women. A picture of two good-looking young women, one of whom is wearing a Go-Gos t-shirt. A picture of two good-looking young women, one of whom is wearing a Go-Gos t-shirt...in Tennessee.
This may ruin good-looking young women wearing Go-Go's t-shirts for me forever.
And they said all we need is love... With the Beatles...
Scooped up this Meme from Dr. Monk.
1. If you could be there to change just one event in history, what would it be?
One of the things I think I'd do if I had a TARDIS is go back and tell Ted Turner that a 24-hour news channel is a terrible idea. I miss the old days, when we had one, half-hour news program at the end of the day, so most of it had to be actually news. Instead, we just get people talking and talking...
Imagine if politicians actually had to make what they say count, instead of operating on the "if we throw enough gruel at the wall, something’s bound to stick" theory. Imagine if news people actually had time to connect the dots, rather than chasing after politicians like stenographer dogs? Imagine if there wasn't time to tell us which actress got how drunk where.
2. If you could be any actor or actress who ever lived, who would it be, and why?
Hmm...For an actress, I think I'll say Lisa Kudrow. What the hell, it's her birthday. Plus she's excellent. If you remember that charming "Marry fuck or kill" game, she's the one of the three women Friends that I would marry...
For an actor, I'd be Frank Sinatra. Okay, so he was more of an icon than an actor, and more of a singer than an icon...but I would get to win an Academy Award, and just think of the women with whom I'd be sleeping...
If I could, however, I would try not to take so many swipes at people. And I'd probably skip Mia Farrow.
3. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon show?
The Bugs Bunny Road/Runner Show. "Overture! Curtain, lights!" For years, BTW, I thought that second line was "cut the lights" But I'm mad about animation and this show was and is a big part of the reason why. Oh, those classic cartoons.
4. Beatles or Rolling Stones?
Beatles. They're more influential; they wrote songs so good not even the biggest What the Hell Were They Thinking? movie of all time could hurt them irreparably.
If "I Want You" can survive Donald Pleasence, it can survive anything. The Stones couldn't even survive Devo.
Plus they broke up in time, they made better records with a fuller sound that progressed artistically, they had John Lennon, they had Paul McCartney, they had Lennon & McCartney. They made two or three of the great pop movies, they had George Martin and Geoff Emerick, George, Ringo & yeah yeah yeah...
The Stones had no insight and were only playing at being menacing. Who cares?
The first time I remember being aware of the Beatles is in nursery school or kindergarten, when the grown-ups used to play the Hard Day's Night soundtrack.
For some reason all I remember hearing then is the title song, but they must have played more. Later in life I would come to think of "And I Love Her" as one of Paul's best love songs, and "I Should Have Known Better" as one of John's most underrated (love that bridge).
But if memory serves, this is the first Beatles album I ever owned. I got it because...fine, I got it after seeing Jimmy Osmond singing "Penny Lane" on Fame. You happy? Respect where respect is due, he did a great job...
5. If you could be any fictional literary figure ever, who would it be?
Keitha, Colley or Annabel.
I'm not tagging anybody but if the spirit moves you...
1. If you could be there to change just one event in history, what would it be?
One of the things I think I'd do if I had a TARDIS is go back and tell Ted Turner that a 24-hour news channel is a terrible idea. I miss the old days, when we had one, half-hour news program at the end of the day, so most of it had to be actually news. Instead, we just get people talking and talking...
Imagine if politicians actually had to make what they say count, instead of operating on the "if we throw enough gruel at the wall, something’s bound to stick" theory. Imagine if news people actually had time to connect the dots, rather than chasing after politicians like stenographer dogs? Imagine if there wasn't time to tell us which actress got how drunk where.
2. If you could be any actor or actress who ever lived, who would it be, and why?
Hmm...For an actress, I think I'll say Lisa Kudrow. What the hell, it's her birthday. Plus she's excellent. If you remember that charming "Marry fuck or kill" game, she's the one of the three women Friends that I would marry...
For an actor, I'd be Frank Sinatra. Okay, so he was more of an icon than an actor, and more of a singer than an icon...but I would get to win an Academy Award, and just think of the women with whom I'd be sleeping...
If I could, however, I would try not to take so many swipes at people. And I'd probably skip Mia Farrow.
3. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon show?
The Bugs Bunny Road/Runner Show. "Overture! Curtain, lights!" For years, BTW, I thought that second line was "cut the lights" But I'm mad about animation and this show was and is a big part of the reason why. Oh, those classic cartoons.
4. Beatles or Rolling Stones?
Beatles. They're more influential; they wrote songs so good not even the biggest What the Hell Were They Thinking? movie of all time could hurt them irreparably.
If "I Want You" can survive Donald Pleasence, it can survive anything. The Stones couldn't even survive Devo.
Plus they broke up in time, they made better records with a fuller sound that progressed artistically, they had John Lennon, they had Paul McCartney, they had Lennon & McCartney. They made two or three of the great pop movies, they had George Martin and Geoff Emerick, George, Ringo & yeah yeah yeah...
The Stones had no insight and were only playing at being menacing. Who cares?
The first time I remember being aware of the Beatles is in nursery school or kindergarten, when the grown-ups used to play the Hard Day's Night soundtrack.
For some reason all I remember hearing then is the title song, but they must have played more. Later in life I would come to think of "And I Love Her" as one of Paul's best love songs, and "I Should Have Known Better" as one of John's most underrated (love that bridge).
But if memory serves, this is the first Beatles album I ever owned. I got it because...fine, I got it after seeing Jimmy Osmond singing "Penny Lane" on Fame. You happy? Respect where respect is due, he did a great job...
5. If you could be any fictional literary figure ever, who would it be?
Keitha, Colley or Annabel.
I'm not tagging anybody but if the spirit moves you...
Here's a colortini to you, buddy
Talk show host Tom Snyder has died at the age of 71.
I'm too young to remember the 1970s version of his show, but I enjoyed his return in the '90s. I remember disagreeing with a pal who liked to make fun of his occasional rambling, which I found a bit charming. I looked at him like a eccentric but beloved older relative.
Plus, the fact that he wrote the introduction to a book of Harlan Ellison's and frequently had the writer on as a guest, certainly didn't hurt him in my eyes. His show is also how I was introduced to Bonnie Hunt, with whom he had a great chemistry. He seemed to really enjoy the way she could make her every line come alive with humor.
I'm just glad we passed through the Craig Kilborne phase (shudder) and now Craig Ferguson is on...
I'm too young to remember the 1970s version of his show, but I enjoyed his return in the '90s. I remember disagreeing with a pal who liked to make fun of his occasional rambling, which I found a bit charming. I looked at him like a eccentric but beloved older relative.
Plus, the fact that he wrote the introduction to a book of Harlan Ellison's and frequently had the writer on as a guest, certainly didn't hurt him in my eyes. His show is also how I was introduced to Bonnie Hunt, with whom he had a great chemistry. He seemed to really enjoy the way she could make her every line come alive with humor.
I'm just glad we passed through the Craig Kilborne phase (shudder) and now Craig Ferguson is on...
Sunday, July 29, 2007
What?
This is kind of a follow-up to my last post: We have here an item putting out the idea that the short-lived Geena Davis vehicle Commander in Chief bodes ill for Hillary Rodham Clinton's campaign. As well as Katie Couric's plunging ratings as anchor of the CBS Evening News.
Here I thought Commander in Chief was short-lived because it was creatively unsatisfactory (it also didn't help that it was up against House, which isn't). And Katie Couric's ratings haven't improved because, I suspect, she is perceived as being frivolous and trivial, and people want their news anchors, man or woman, to at least have the appearance of gravitas.
(which is why Newt Gingrinch would make a great one, and I can't believe Fox hasn't snapped him up)
But seriously, folks...I'm left wondering again: Does quality mean nothing? If Geena Davis' show was cancelled, it's because people aren't ready for a woman president. If Katie Couric's ratings are bad, it's because people aren't ready to see a woman in Uncle Walter's chair.
The fact that the show was bad, and Couric was maybe the wrong woman for the job--and that CBS news is now being run by a bunch of dummies- has nothing to do with it?
If Hillary doesn't get the nomination, I hope it's for the same political reasons for which liberals would reject a man who has done the things Hillary has done. I hope it's not because they're not ready for a woman president.
And I hope it's not because of the lies conservatives are peddling about her. It occurs to me that one thing Mrs. Clinton has in common with her husband is that, taken on her own merits, she leaves a lot to be desired.
Myself, I don't fully trust her, but it's not becase she's a woman, it's because she's Hillary Clinton. But the attacks on her are so unrelentingly unfair and hideously abusive that she rarely gets taken on her own merits, merely because most of us like to stick up for fairness.
Here I thought Commander in Chief was short-lived because it was creatively unsatisfactory (it also didn't help that it was up against House, which isn't). And Katie Couric's ratings haven't improved because, I suspect, she is perceived as being frivolous and trivial, and people want their news anchors, man or woman, to at least have the appearance of gravitas.
(which is why Newt Gingrinch would make a great one, and I can't believe Fox hasn't snapped him up)
But seriously, folks...I'm left wondering again: Does quality mean nothing? If Geena Davis' show was cancelled, it's because people aren't ready for a woman president. If Katie Couric's ratings are bad, it's because people aren't ready to see a woman in Uncle Walter's chair.
The fact that the show was bad, and Couric was maybe the wrong woman for the job--and that CBS news is now being run by a bunch of dummies- has nothing to do with it?
If Hillary doesn't get the nomination, I hope it's for the same political reasons for which liberals would reject a man who has done the things Hillary has done. I hope it's not because they're not ready for a woman president.
And I hope it's not because of the lies conservatives are peddling about her. It occurs to me that one thing Mrs. Clinton has in common with her husband is that, taken on her own merits, she leaves a lot to be desired.
Myself, I don't fully trust her, but it's not becase she's a woman, it's because she's Hillary Clinton. But the attacks on her are so unrelentingly unfair and hideously abusive that she rarely gets taken on her own merits, merely because most of us like to stick up for fairness.
A stepping stone to a collective consciousness
Article in PopPolitics discussing "Chuck & Larry" walking the line between gay pride and homophobia, looking at responses to the movie by gay men including Alonso Duralde's for After Elton...
I was right with you, Alonso, till you got to "Soul Man"...
Well, yeah. I think you also have to allow for the fact that "Tootsie," although it's got one or two plotholes big enough for a basketball player to walk through, is a very good movie. Whereas "Soul Man" was a bush league comedy trying to pass as important.
But then again, Duralde sends me spiraling into the corner grappling my own depression, with the final paragraph of his review of the movie.
Obviously.
Duralde places "Chuck and Larry" on a continuum with such ground-breaking films as "Philadephia" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?" as well as other consciousness-raising comedies like "Tootsie," where Dustin Hoffman plays a man impersonating a woman, and "Soul Man," where C. Thomas Howell plays someone white passing for black.
I was right with you, Alonso, till you got to "Soul Man"...
This approach can be tricky, of course – feminists didn't complain about Hoffman playing a woman, but many people were up in arms over the idea of Howell donning "blackface," even if it was with the best of intentions.
Well, yeah. I think you also have to allow for the fact that "Tootsie," although it's got one or two plotholes big enough for a basketball player to walk through, is a very good movie. Whereas "Soul Man" was a bush league comedy trying to pass as important.
But then again, Duralde sends me spiraling into the corner grappling my own depression, with the final paragraph of his review of the movie.
...movies that are this stupid about gay life, made by straight people, exist as object lessons of why it's so very important that queer artists tell our own stories from our own point of view. Because if we leave it to the heterosexuals, obviously, they're going to get it all wrong.
Obviously.
Remember: We're not just ogling a beautiful feminine body...we're fighting for the enviroment!
This picture of Spanish model Veronica Blume first appeared in a 2002 Greenpeace calendar...
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Holy crap
Hey, remember The Nine? It was one of my favorites of the TV freshman class of '06 but, like Studio 60, it got expelled for going -clunk! in the ratings. Pity, because it was really an interesting series-and freakin' Hannah Montanna is still riding high...
Anyway, I see to my surprise and pleasure in Entertainment Weekly that ABC is returning it to the air for the last six episodes. That's ABC, a network otherwise notable for bringing you what I predict will be the first cancelled series of the year: A sitcom based on those cavemen in the insurance company commercials.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so snarky, as it turns out, I may owe ABC an apology...
But anyway, if you're in the exclusive club who knew what a good show it could be, heads up: The final episodes begin airing Wednesday, August 1, at 10. PM.
Anyway, I see to my surprise and pleasure in Entertainment Weekly that ABC is returning it to the air for the last six episodes. That's ABC, a network otherwise notable for bringing you what I predict will be the first cancelled series of the year: A sitcom based on those cavemen in the insurance company commercials.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so snarky, as it turns out, I may owe ABC an apology...
But anyway, if you're in the exclusive club who knew what a good show it could be, heads up: The final episodes begin airing Wednesday, August 1, at 10. PM.
Awards: Me=one, Lauren Graham=nothing
PJ has awarded me a Power of Schmooze Award.
Picking me to include among:
So: Who are the people that I'm talking about, when I talk about my vast reading audience?
A'mee. Ah, the stories I could tell you. But I won't, for fear of her going all Basic Instinct on my ass...
Jeopardygirl. She's Canadian, but I try not to hold that against her. Plus, we have almost precisely the same musical taste.
Becca. Arguably the one of you I'd most like to go drinking with-but we'd probably end up fighting over the same girl. BTW, you guys know what it is to be "cock blocked"-that's when a guy succesfully hits on a girl who you've been trying to hit on.
You know what it is when a girl does it? A muff bluff.
PJ herself, one of my erstwhile interviewers, with good eye for lovely women (and men, I suppose).
George, generik and the rest of the RFB campaign staff. Even though George does have a tendency to carp, they comment on my blog a lot more than I comment on theirs (hangs head in shame)...
bbovenguy. One of the closest things I have to a Hollywood connection-and a fellow veteran of "the Tara incident." My other Hollywood connection being Corey "star of Spiders!" Klemow, but he tends not to comment on the blog publicly.
As for you runners-up and also-rans (Dr. Monk, J.D., Gordon..."and the rest")...you can do better. I know you can.
Picking me to include among:
those prolific souls who often leave comments that cheer me up and let me know that I’m not so alone in the world
So: Who are the people that I'm talking about, when I talk about my vast reading audience?
A'mee. Ah, the stories I could tell you. But I won't, for fear of her going all Basic Instinct on my ass...
Jeopardygirl. She's Canadian, but I try not to hold that against her. Plus, we have almost precisely the same musical taste.
Becca. Arguably the one of you I'd most like to go drinking with-but we'd probably end up fighting over the same girl. BTW, you guys know what it is to be "cock blocked"-that's when a guy succesfully hits on a girl who you've been trying to hit on.
You know what it is when a girl does it? A muff bluff.
PJ herself, one of my erstwhile interviewers, with good eye for lovely women (and men, I suppose).
George, generik and the rest of the RFB campaign staff. Even though George does have a tendency to carp, they comment on my blog a lot more than I comment on theirs (hangs head in shame)...
bbovenguy. One of the closest things I have to a Hollywood connection-and a fellow veteran of "the Tara incident." My other Hollywood connection being Corey "star of Spiders!" Klemow, but he tends not to comment on the blog publicly.
As for you runners-up and also-rans (Dr. Monk, J.D., Gordon..."and the rest")...you can do better. I know you can.
Can he swing, from a web? No, he can't-he's a pig.
The Simpsons Movie is funnier than the show has been for about 10 years. But...well, probably not coincidentally, early this morning Comedy Central ran South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. This served as a reminder that here was a movie based on an animated series that was actually about something. While also being at least as funny as The Simpsons Movie-
and one of the best movie musicals in years, to boot.
You can't help thinking (I can't, anyway): What if they'd made a Simpsons movie around 1994 when, IMO, the show was at the height of its powers? Again, this movie is well-made and the extra time they were able to take with it surely does show.
It will probably be staggeringly popular at the box office, and then again in DVD sales. People will want to look for the sight gags or lines of dialogue they missed while people were laughing. And I was laughing right along with them-this is a keenly-made comedy, and I don't want to lose sight of that.
I guess I have no choice but to doh! this movie with faint praise. It's good, but after almost 400 episodes, there's just very little they can show us about the characters we haven't seen.
and one of the best movie musicals in years, to boot.You can't help thinking (I can't, anyway): What if they'd made a Simpsons movie around 1994 when, IMO, the show was at the height of its powers? Again, this movie is well-made and the extra time they were able to take with it surely does show.
It will probably be staggeringly popular at the box office, and then again in DVD sales. People will want to look for the sight gags or lines of dialogue they missed while people were laughing. And I was laughing right along with them-this is a keenly-made comedy, and I don't want to lose sight of that.
I guess I have no choice but to doh! this movie with faint praise. It's good, but after almost 400 episodes, there's just very little they can show us about the characters we haven't seen.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Oh. My. God.
A woman wrote in to Roger Ebert's site about the poster for the upcoming Dane Cook/Jessica Alba movie "Good Luck Chuck." She was offended, because it is a "parody" of the Rolling Stone cover photo taken hours before John Lennon was shot; she considers it tasteless.
Ebert reminds her of the many parodies of works that some consider "sacred," as she says she feels about the Lennon photo. I know what he means, but...still. To take a photo like that, and not just parody it, but use it as advertising for a movie that...
...well, the cast and crew doesn't exactly fill one with confidence that this will be an example of Film As Great Art...
Pierre Auguste Renoir knew what time it was
"When I've painted a woman's bottom so that I want to touch it, then [the painting] is finished."
"The Bathers"
Pierre Auguste Renoir (02/25/1841 – 12/17/1919)
Because any blog can run pictures emphasizing Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts
We here at Dictionopolis in Digitopolis eschew such obvious superficiality. And wish to remind you that besides her oft-commented on breasts, Ms. Hewitt is also the possessor of a very sexy pair of legs.
This has been a public service announcement.
This has been a public service announcement.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Interview Meme: Spider-Man 3
After a gentle reminder, Becca sent me these questions...but first, a reminder for you...
Here's Becca's queries:
1. Okay let’s get the Dr. Who question out of the way. I can’t remember if you’ve said or not but who is your favorite Doctor and why? Who is your favorite companion?
Who is my favorite Doctor?
Peter Davison, the fifth. Why? Because I think he was the best damn actor ever to play the part, with some of my best-loved scripts, especially the two by Chris Bidmead.
David Tennant, I'm sorry to say, I started out really admiring-"Christmas Invasion" was my favorite "new Doctor" story in years-but I've begun to feel that he's letting the side down a bit. Of course, he also hasn't been half as well-served by more recent scripts...
Favorite companions include Bernice, from the books (sometimes called "Benny" but that makes me self-conscious). Not just because of the way she is but the way she was created.
I've said this before but something her creator, Paul Cornell, said in an interview has been coming back to me in recent years...asked why he thought Bernice had been so succesful, he replied that most men wrote the kinds of women they wanted to date (or maybe at least sleep with), and...
"I don't want to date Bernice. I want to be her."
I liked Nyssa from the television series.
Partly because Sarah Sutton was just to die for, but also because I thought she was temperamentally the best suited for the Davison Doctor, with Tegan not far behind.
I also kind of liked Chris, from the books. Peri is a guilty pleasure-and I thought Martha Jones started out very well but ultimately failed because they drove her into a dead end.
2. If you crash landed on a tropical island in a plane filled with survivalist supplies (what luck!) what 5 things would you want to have with you on the tropical island?
Is all I need to protect me from the sun included in the survivalist supplies?
Are there any dinosaurs on the island?
If so/not:
A solar-powered computer with the best damn wireless connection you've ever seen.
A solar powered radio that only plays music and no news from the outside world.
A copy of either The Hobbit or The Essential Ellison.
A friendly dolphin.
And either Emma Watson or Jennifer Wayman, from Jr. Hish.
3. Where did the name of your blog “Dictionopolis in Digitopolis” come from and why did you choose it?
The name of my blog derives from the classic book and movie The Phantom Tollboth, both of which were favorites of my youth.
I'd be surprised if you haven't read and/or seen it, but just in case: In both, you see, Dictionopolis is the kingdom of words and Digitopolis the kingdom of numbers.
A blog, being comprised of words on the internet, which is comprised of numbers, is therefore...
You see how it all balances out.
4. What in your opinion are the 5 most underrated musical acts of the last 40 years?
1. Bobby Darrin. He's probably less underrated than he used to be, but I'm honestly not sure whether the Kevin Spacey movie helped or hurt. I still haven't seen the movie. I just can't bring myself to.
2. Kirsty MacColl (bless her). My pro-Kirsty bias should be obvious to anyone who reads this blog for even a month or two. I think she was a goddess, a supremely talented singer and songwriter whose exquisitely sung, sometimes multi-tracked vocal arrangements will be remembered by people who really know music when soulless American Idol runner-ups have been forgotten.
But in the spirit of "show don't tell," this is Kirsty performing "Days," originally written by Ray Davies, on TOTP.
She is glorious.
3. Thomas Dolby. I think most people see him as a one-novelty-hit-wonder, even bubblegum. Sure, some of his records were novelties-he did write songs for the Howard the Duck movie, y'know. And lord knows he's got the keyboard hooks. But a novelty artist he was not.
Watch this video for his record of the Dan Hicks song "I Scare Myself." This is just good. I don't know quite how else to say it.
BTW, there's no signifigance to the fact that the two songs I chose are both ones the performers didn't write, MacColl and Dolby are both very fine songwriters. It's just a question of which records I can find videos for on YouTube that I feel show them to best advantage...
4. Dan Hartman. The I Can Dream About You album is so awesome. People know it because of the title song and "We Are The Young," but the whole thing is packed with solid songwriting by Hartman and his collaborator, Charlie Midnight.
That album had more of a dance/club feel, but he also co-wrote and sang lead on "Free Ride" for the Edgar Winter group, and co-wrote and produced James Brown's last top five hit, "Living In America."
5. Chaz (or Chas) Jankel. Best known as a member of Ian Dury's Blockheads, and the cowriter of discs like "Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll" and "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick," in the early to-mid eighties he released two or three solo albums that became instant favorites of mine.
My first play was ultimately titled after one of his solo songs (also cowritten with Dury, as it happens).
5. If I recall correctly you are a writer!
If I recall correctly, I am too.
As a writer who are your biggest influences and whom do you think are the most interesting writers working today?
Mark Evanier's an influence, but probably more on my nonfiction (including this blog) than my drama and fiction.
When it comes to writing in the dramatic form, James L. Brooks is a big influence, especially his script for Broadcast News. And the sense I get from interviews with Simpsons writers, DVD commentaries and such is that a lot of the "heart" of that series comes from him.
Oh, and I've lately been trying to write a young adult book, for which my models are my memories of authors like Robert Cormier, Chris Crutcher, and Judy Blume.
Sorry you asked?
Do YOU want to be interviewed?
Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interviewsomeone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Here's Becca's queries:
1. Okay let’s get the Dr. Who question out of the way. I can’t remember if you’ve said or not but who is your favorite Doctor and why? Who is your favorite companion?
Who is my favorite Doctor?
Peter Davison, the fifth. Why? Because I think he was the best damn actor ever to play the part, with some of my best-loved scripts, especially the two by Chris Bidmead.David Tennant, I'm sorry to say, I started out really admiring-"Christmas Invasion" was my favorite "new Doctor" story in years-but I've begun to feel that he's letting the side down a bit. Of course, he also hasn't been half as well-served by more recent scripts...
Favorite companions include Bernice, from the books (sometimes called "Benny" but that makes me self-conscious). Not just because of the way she is but the way she was created.
I've said this before but something her creator, Paul Cornell, said in an interview has been coming back to me in recent years...asked why he thought Bernice had been so succesful, he replied that most men wrote the kinds of women they wanted to date (or maybe at least sleep with), and...
"I don't want to date Bernice. I want to be her."
I liked Nyssa from the television series.
Partly because Sarah Sutton was just to die for, but also because I thought she was temperamentally the best suited for the Davison Doctor, with Tegan not far behind.
I also kind of liked Chris, from the books. Peri is a guilty pleasure-and I thought Martha Jones started out very well but ultimately failed because they drove her into a dead end.
2. If you crash landed on a tropical island in a plane filled with survivalist supplies (what luck!) what 5 things would you want to have with you on the tropical island?
Is all I need to protect me from the sun included in the survivalist supplies?
Are there any dinosaurs on the island?
If so/not:
A solar-powered computer with the best damn wireless connection you've ever seen.
A solar powered radio that only plays music and no news from the outside world.
A copy of either The Hobbit or The Essential Ellison.
A friendly dolphin.
And either Emma Watson or Jennifer Wayman, from Jr. Hish.
3. Where did the name of your blog “Dictionopolis in Digitopolis” come from and why did you choose it?
The name of my blog derives from the classic book and movie The Phantom Tollboth, both of which were favorites of my youth.
I'd be surprised if you haven't read and/or seen it, but just in case: In both, you see, Dictionopolis is the kingdom of words and Digitopolis the kingdom of numbers.
A blog, being comprised of words on the internet, which is comprised of numbers, is therefore...
You see how it all balances out.
4. What in your opinion are the 5 most underrated musical acts of the last 40 years?
1. Bobby Darrin. He's probably less underrated than he used to be, but I'm honestly not sure whether the Kevin Spacey movie helped or hurt. I still haven't seen the movie. I just can't bring myself to.
2. Kirsty MacColl (bless her). My pro-Kirsty bias should be obvious to anyone who reads this blog for even a month or two. I think she was a goddess, a supremely talented singer and songwriter whose exquisitely sung, sometimes multi-tracked vocal arrangements will be remembered by people who really know music when soulless American Idol runner-ups have been forgotten.
But in the spirit of "show don't tell," this is Kirsty performing "Days," originally written by Ray Davies, on TOTP.
She is glorious.
3. Thomas Dolby. I think most people see him as a one-novelty-hit-wonder, even bubblegum. Sure, some of his records were novelties-he did write songs for the Howard the Duck movie, y'know. And lord knows he's got the keyboard hooks. But a novelty artist he was not.
Watch this video for his record of the Dan Hicks song "I Scare Myself." This is just good. I don't know quite how else to say it.
BTW, there's no signifigance to the fact that the two songs I chose are both ones the performers didn't write, MacColl and Dolby are both very fine songwriters. It's just a question of which records I can find videos for on YouTube that I feel show them to best advantage...
4. Dan Hartman. The I Can Dream About You album is so awesome. People know it because of the title song and "We Are The Young," but the whole thing is packed with solid songwriting by Hartman and his collaborator, Charlie Midnight.
That album had more of a dance/club feel, but he also co-wrote and sang lead on "Free Ride" for the Edgar Winter group, and co-wrote and produced James Brown's last top five hit, "Living In America."
5. Chaz (or Chas) Jankel. Best known as a member of Ian Dury's Blockheads, and the cowriter of discs like "Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll" and "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick," in the early to-mid eighties he released two or three solo albums that became instant favorites of mine.
My first play was ultimately titled after one of his solo songs (also cowritten with Dury, as it happens).
5. If I recall correctly you are a writer!
If I recall correctly, I am too.
As a writer who are your biggest influences and whom do you think are the most interesting writers working today?
Mark Evanier's an influence, but probably more on my nonfiction (including this blog) than my drama and fiction.
When it comes to writing in the dramatic form, James L. Brooks is a big influence, especially his script for Broadcast News. And the sense I get from interviews with Simpsons writers, DVD commentaries and such is that a lot of the "heart" of that series comes from him.
Also he created and worked on Taxi, which has to be on any short list of the greatest sitcoms of all time.
I can't forget my hero,
He's done so much for so long that I once formed a theory: You can connect Larry Gelbart to anything funny done on stage or screen in the past 45 years or more, in six moves or less.
Try me.
I suppose John Hughes is an influence. I'd be perfectly happy if one of my stories stayed in people's minds the way one or two of his have in mine.
From the world of comics writing, Neil Gaiman and Peter Milligan are aspirations and influences...Milligan not so much since he took Shade from dark to totally black, but that's another post...
And though I'm not a cartoonist or any kind of a visual artist, Charles Schulz, Ted "Dr. Seuss" Geisel and Howard Cruse are influences at least as much for the way they lived their lives as the quality of their work, including writing.
Some people are influences even if (so far, anyway) I don't write in their genre, like the aforementioned Cornell. I haven't written a mystery, but I love the personal stamp that writers like Robert Crais and Gregory McDonald put on theirs. I would hope that my own stories have mine.
I've also yet to write a horror story (well, not the kind with razor-fanged clowns anyway). But I like having the keen grip on my reader's throat that Stephen King can get. I've had one or two people tell me that after starting one of my pieces they could not do any other work or put it down till they finished it. I take that as one of my favorite compliments.
Oh yes, and that Aaron Sorkin fellow. Anybody here need me to re-state what I think of his work? I didn't think so.
Sometimes I don't really think I write the way they do, but they're still an influence, like Harlan Ellison. Ellison was also an influence on my criticism back when I was writing more of it, as were Roger Ebert and the late Kenneth Tynan.
Some of the most interesting writers working in recent years would include
Oh, and I've lately been trying to write a young adult book, for which my models are my memories of authors like Robert Cormier, Chris Crutcher, and Judy Blume.
Sorry you asked?
I dunno, man, maybe I just don't like gangster movies.
I just finished watching The Departed and all I could say was: For this Scorsese won the Oscar? Everybody and their sister seems to think this is a great film, and I'm not saying it's bad. I don't believe in "auteurs" but if I did Scorsese would be one.
What kept this film interesting for me was that I kept imagining it as a story I was being told in his trademark coked-up (even if he's straight) verbal style. The characterizations overall seemed to me to be about as dimensional as a piece of cardboard, and the woman's part...
Well, far be it from me to stereotype, but if you didn't know already that Scorsese was Italian...
What kept this film interesting for me was that I kept imagining it as a story I was being told in his trademark coked-up (even if he's straight) verbal style. The characterizations overall seemed to me to be about as dimensional as a piece of cardboard, and the woman's part...
Well, far be it from me to stereotype, but if you didn't know already that Scorsese was Italian...
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The best Simpsons lines of all time
Ramping up for the movie, which I'm kind of surprised to find myself looking forward to, given that I think they more-or-less ran out of ideas around the ninth season.
(Most of the Quotes and Scene Summaries come from The Simpsons Archive, with one from TV.com and one from memory)
Homer: Bart, did you hear that? What a name! "Santa's Little Helper." It's a sign. It's an omen.
Bart: It's a coincidence, dad.
--Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (The Simpsons Christmas Special)
Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the
election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one
to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
-Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish
--I still can't believe they got away with it, from Brother From The Same Planet
I Love Lisa is line for line, the best Simpsons script ever, but I'll just pick one:
"Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint the
second when his heart rips in half."
Homer: Lisa, did you see the Grammys?
Lisa: You beat Dexy's Midnight Runners!
Homer: Well, you haven't heard the last of them.
--Best Dexy's reference ever, from Homer's Barbershop Quartet.
Runner up: In Clerks there's a porno titled "Cum On Eileen."
Treehouse of Horror IV:
In the room with a "Hell Labs: Ironic Punishments Division" sign on the door, Homer is strapped into a chair with mountains of donuts all around. "So, you like donuts, eh?" his keeper queries. "Uh huh," Homer answers uncertainly. "Well, have all the donuts in the world!" his keeper ripostes, and a metallic machine monstrosity starts cramming donuts towards Homer's mouth by fours. Eagerly he devours them.
Much later, the machine still works overtime, and Homer has become a grotesque blob, but his relentless masticatory pace hasn't slowed.
There are almost no donuts left in the room, and Homer's keeper is
confused. "I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in fifteen
minutes!"
Bart: We come now to the final and most terrifying painting of the
evening. To even gaze upon it is [dramatically] to go mad.
Homer: [looking at it] Aah! They're dogs...and they're playing poker!
Abe: Quick! We have to kill the boy! [holds a stake and mallet]
Marge: How do you know he's a vampire?
Abe: He's a vampire? Aah! [runs away]
Homer, Marge, and Lisa arrive in the car.
[Homer drives into a preserved deer statue]
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer...
--From Bart Gets an Elephant
[Skinner walks in, sees Homer]
Skinner: What's he doing here?
Bart: Well once he found out we were going to get Ned Flanders
fired, he insisted on helping.
Homer: That is true.
Bart: Here's the plan: once Chalmers comes for his next inspection
and sees how crappy the school has gotten, he'll fire Ned on
the spot.
Skinner: Er, one question remains: how do I get out of the army?
Bart: No problemo. Just make a pass at your commanding officer!
Skinner: Done and done. And I mean done.
--Well, he's efficient anyway. From Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song
Nelson: Hey, Bart! Your epidermis is showing.
Bart: [worried] It is? [checks himself]
[the kids laugh]
[Bart falls, starts yelling]
Nelson: [to Kearney] See, "epidermis" means your hair.
[Bart lands with a thud]
So technically it's true. That's what makes it so funny.
Pardon me a moment --
[at Bart] Ha ha!
Milhouse: Hey Nelson, he's really hurt. I think he broke his leg.
Nelson: [exasperated] I said, "Ha ha"!
--Nelson's best "Ha ha" ever, from Bart of Darkness.
Treehouse of Horror V :
Homer: So what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was
thinking along the lines of "No TV and No Beer Make Homer"
something something.
Marge: [timid] "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then
I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.
--Marge and Homer are great parents, from Bart's Girlfriend
Kid: The switchboards are lighting up!
Everyone: Yay!
Kid: Two calls: that's our best ever! [answers one] Hello? No,
Janice doesn't live here...[answers other] Hello? Yes, I am
interested in long-distance savings! Very interested.
--It's the little things in life, from Homer BadMan
--From Treehouse of Horror VI
Lisa: Being myself...didn't work. Being somebody else...didn't work...
--The Simpsons line most likely to make me cry, from Summer of 4 Ft. 2
Nelson looks warmly at Lisa, and takes her hand. Their romantic
evening is spoiled by Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney.
Dolph: Oh, man! You kissed a girl!
Jimbo: That is so gay!
--Unclear on the concept, from Lisa's Date With Density
Bart: ...so then I says to Mabel, I says...
[Homer walks in]
Homer: Hi, kids!
Bart: I'll finish this later. Hi, Dad.
Homer: Where's your mother?
Lisa: Out back.
[Homer walks out]
Bart: So anyway, I says to Mabel, I says...
--Don't ask me why, I just love it.
(Most of the Quotes and Scene Summaries come from The Simpsons Archive, with one from TV.com and one from memory)
Homer: Bart, did you hear that? What a name! "Santa's Little Helper." It's a sign. It's an omen.
Bart: It's a coincidence, dad.
--Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (The Simpsons Christmas Special)
Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the
election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one
to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
-Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish
Homer tries to recall the good ol' days.
Homer: Remember when I used to push you on the swing?
Bart: I was faking it.
Homer: Gasp! Liar!
Bart: Oh yeah? Remember this? ``Higher, Dad! Higher! Whee!''
--I still can't believe they got away with it, from Brother From The Same Planet
I Love Lisa is line for line, the best Simpsons script ever, but I'll just pick one:
"Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint the
second when his heart rips in half."
Homer: Lisa, did you see the Grammys?
Lisa: You beat Dexy's Midnight Runners!
Homer: Well, you haven't heard the last of them.
--Best Dexy's reference ever, from Homer's Barbershop Quartet.
Runner up: In Clerks there's a porno titled "Cum On Eileen."
Treehouse of Horror IV:
In the room with a "Hell Labs: Ironic Punishments Division" sign on the door, Homer is strapped into a chair with mountains of donuts all around. "So, you like donuts, eh?" his keeper queries. "Uh huh," Homer answers uncertainly. "Well, have all the donuts in the world!" his keeper ripostes, and a metallic machine monstrosity starts cramming donuts towards Homer's mouth by fours. Eagerly he devours them.
Much later, the machine still works overtime, and Homer has become a grotesque blob, but his relentless masticatory pace hasn't slowed.
There are almost no donuts left in the room, and Homer's keeper is
confused. "I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in fifteen
minutes!"
Bart: We come now to the final and most terrifying painting of the
evening. To even gaze upon it is [dramatically] to go mad.
Homer: [looking at it] Aah! They're dogs...and they're playing poker!
Abe: Quick! We have to kill the boy! [holds a stake and mallet]
Marge: How do you know he's a vampire?
Abe: He's a vampire? Aah! [runs away]
Homer, Marge, and Lisa arrive in the car.
[Homer drives into a preserved deer statue]
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer...
--From Bart Gets an Elephant
[Skinner walks in, sees Homer]
Skinner: What's he doing here?
Bart: Well once he found out we were going to get Ned Flanders
fired, he insisted on helping.
Homer: That is true.
Bart: Here's the plan: once Chalmers comes for his next inspection
and sees how crappy the school has gotten, he'll fire Ned on
the spot.
Skinner: Er, one question remains: how do I get out of the army?
Bart: No problemo. Just make a pass at your commanding officer!
Skinner: Done and done. And I mean done.
--Well, he's efficient anyway. From Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song
Nelson: Hey, Bart! Your epidermis is showing.
Bart: [worried] It is? [checks himself]
[the kids laugh]
[Bart falls, starts yelling]
Nelson: [to Kearney] See, "epidermis" means your hair.
[Bart lands with a thud]
So technically it's true. That's what makes it so funny.
Pardon me a moment --
[at Bart] Ha ha!
Milhouse: Hey Nelson, he's really hurt. I think he broke his leg.
Nelson: [exasperated] I said, "Ha ha"!
--Nelson's best "Ha ha" ever, from Bart of Darkness.
Treehouse of Horror V :
Homer: So what do you think, Marge? All I need is a title. I was
thinking along the lines of "No TV and No Beer Make Homer"
something something.
Marge: [timid] "Go Crazy"?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities but then
I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge, admit it.
--Marge and Homer are great parents, from Bart's Girlfriend
Kid: The switchboards are lighting up!
Everyone: Yay!
Kid: Two calls: that's our best ever! [answers one] Hello? No,
Janice doesn't live here...[answers other] Hello? Yes, I am
interested in long-distance savings! Very interested.
--It's the little things in life, from Homer BadMan
Marge: [voice over] It all started on the thirteenth hour, of the
thirteenth day, of the thirteenth month. We were there to
discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.
Homer: [shivering, looking at the calendar] Oh, lousy Smarch weather.
[spies the thermostat with a note from Willy over it]
[reads] "Do not touch Willy." Good advice! [cranks it]
--From Treehouse of Horror VI
Lisa: Being myself...didn't work. Being somebody else...didn't work...
--The Simpsons line most likely to make me cry, from Summer of 4 Ft. 2
Nelson looks warmly at Lisa, and takes her hand. Their romantic
evening is spoiled by Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney.
Dolph: Oh, man! You kissed a girl!
Jimbo: That is so gay!
--Unclear on the concept, from Lisa's Date With Density
Bart: ...so then I says to Mabel, I says...
[Homer walks in]
Homer: Hi, kids!
Bart: I'll finish this later. Hi, Dad.
Homer: Where's your mother?
Lisa: Out back.
[Homer walks out]
Bart: So anyway, I says to Mabel, I says...
--Don't ask me why, I just love it.
From El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer
[The Mysterious Voyage of Homer]
Marge: Homer, didn't John seem a little... festive to you?
Homer: Couldn't agree more. Happy as a clam.
Marge: [insisting] He prefers the company of men!
Homer: Who doesn't?
--From Homer's Phobia
Bob: You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What
about the buffoon lessons, the four years at clown college?
Cecil: I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way!
--The Brother from Another Series, representing all the Sidehow Bob episodes of the first nine seasons
Judge Snider: I find the defendent not guilty. As for science vs.
religion I'm issuing a restraining order. Science should
stay 500 yards from religion at all times.
--Great idea, from Lisa the Skeptic
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