I hate myself for this one

Selma Blair fingers my favorite color.

Holy-!

You know, between you and me, I've never thought Cate Blanchett was that gorgeous. A great actress, to be sure, and I'm not saying she's not good-looking. Just that, for me, in the very personal way in which we all instinctively "rank" those we think have sex appeal or not, she never scored as high as, say:

Katherine Heigl.



Or Fairuza Balk.



On my own personal list (which I don't really have, in case you were wondering, but...I think you know what I'm saying), I'd probably have put her somewhere between Anjelica Huston and Anna Paquin.


I stand corrected!

"All right, dammit, stop dropping the damn ball! This is the last time I'm bending over to pick it up, you pervs..."

Is it just me, or does anybody else think that this is the sexiest thing they have ever seen?

It is just me, isn't it?

"Shoot 'Em Up" is my new favorite movie...

...ever.

Ok, that's over-the-top, but I'm saying this is a fantastic flick.

A sensational "tough guy" movie (better than Sin City), and a better "movie that knows it's a movie" than Planet Terror.

I enjoyed it from beginning to end. It's genuinely funny and genuinely thrilling, which is a harder mix to get right than some may think. Director/screenwriter Michael Davis does it by setting the loony tone right from the beginning (I wouldn't dream of telling you how...but I've just given you a clue) and maintaining it throughout.

I was surprised to realize, listening to his DVD commentary, that Davis is the man who made 100 Girls and Eight Days A Week, two films which I'd put in the category of good-looking movies that are completely lost when it comes to screenplay.

Here, his skills as a writer have finally caught up with those as a director. And the actors, god bless them, know how to play both comedy and reality, so you laugh even as you're caught up in the action, and vice-versa.

Shoot 'Em Up is very much a "guy's" movie, but I think you ladies might like it too, as I say, it's funny, and, ah...Clive Owen.



Can't be bad...

The always-worth-watching Paul Giamatti looks like he's having an exhilarating time breaking free from his typecasting. Without ever quite "winking" at the audience he plays a villain with just the right touch of self-mockery.

We (straight) guys won't be drooling over Clive, but besides the zoom-bang action, we do get Monica Bellucci, who of course looks like a goddess.



But she also gives the best "hooker with a heart of gold" performance since Elisabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas.



In a small but key role, the very pretty actress Ramona Pringle (above) plays the pregnant woman whose troubled delivery-to say the least-is the start of the whole thing.

Though she's killed early on, she was extremely well-cast. Making enough of an impact in her burst of time onscreen that, later, when she's dead but not quite gone, we still think of her as a her. And wonder about her back-story. I did, anyway.



Oh, and talking of whoring, which I was...I'm not ashamed to tell you there's one scene where Clive O. spanks a woman played by Laura DeCarteret (right).

I thought one or two of you women might be interested to know that (well-maybe a little ashamed).



Jane McLean (above) and Talia Russo (below) play hookers the metal characteristics of whose hearts are not determined, but look good in g-strings and bras, which is all the movie really asks of them.



It also has the second-most fun ending credits of any 2007 movie I've seen (Ratatouille is the most).

That this movie did so poorly at the box office is, I think, a reflection on us as a people.

I haven't seen Juno, but there's no way it's better than this.

Diane Kruger in Ralph Lauren

Dita Von Teese in Christian Lacroix Haute Couture

Natalia Vodianova in Givenchy Haute Couture

Samantha and Victoria Traina both in Givenchy Haute Couture

I hope she gets the help she needs

Britney Spears Heads To The Hospital Again

Ok-what the hell-one more for the road

I love this lady's smile...



This is Lady of Baghdad, oil on canvas by William Clarke Wontner, 1900. I know nothing else about it.

Check it out!

Today seems to be a day for lovely art...



These are by Steven Stahlberg. There's more from him at his site, too.



This (underneath) is what I want the girl that I marry to wear during the ceremony...



...and still, this on the wedding night).

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I would like...

...the man or woman who is finding my blog[s] from British Telecommunications in Essex, Harlow via searching my name on Google to identify themselves.

Soy un drogadicto para el perno-para arriba muchachas y otras mujeres hermosas, y el penique es mi distribuidor

These pics are by an artist called "Deseo," and there's more at his site.

John Edwards gives up

Edwards Suspends Presidential Campaign



Well John...I've liked you, I've disliked you...(once or twice I've been ashamed of you). I've had the hots for your daughter Cate, and I may like your wife's views even more than I like yours. In a weird way, one of the many things I'm still pissed at John Kerry about is that I think he "swift-boated" any chance you might have had of being Hillary or (my choice) Obama's running mate.

IIRC, no one's ever been the running mate for two consecutive presidental elections (not counting sitting VPs, of course). But I think you'd make a fine veep-there have even been times when I've thought you'd make a fine president.

Unfortunately you came off kind of creepy on the David Letterman show the other night, but I choose to believe that was just the strain of the campaign showing through.

And in conclusion, I'd just like to put this idea out there into the ether, in hopes that in some magical way it'll reach the ear of the president elect:

Attorney General John Edwards.

Carmen Electra makes my favorite color feel like a high school zero who (somehow, almost unnaturally) gets a cheerleader

Appropriately enough, I'm from Missouri on this bill

Here's the latest on the case of the adults harassing a 13-year old who then commits suicide. A bill has been introduced in the Senate that would make such harrasment a felony. As I said back in November:

If a law could be passed that would prevent anything like this from ever happening again, my heart tells me that would be a good law.

But even the 13-year old girl's mother doesn't think this law would do that...only that it would provide punishment. She has to go somewhere with her anger and her grief, and I won't say anything against her.

But me...I'm from Missouri.

I always do what breasts tell me to do

By Hollywood standards, I'm a genius at it.

Your Interpersonal Intelligence Score: 44%

Your Interpersonal Intelligence is Average You do well in most group settings, but you also need time to recharge. So while you can work with people during the day, you may crave your alone time at night. For you, it's all about balance!

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Must...not...make...hot "rod"...joke...must not...

Me and Ms. Moore, we got a thing going on,

Yikes!

Is it me, or is this the most frightening thing you've ever seen in your life?



Seriously. They have "silent killers" written all over them.

Ashley Tisdale in Badgley Mischka

Debra Messing in Oscar de la Renta

Ellen Pompeo in Nina Ricci

Eva Longoria in Naeem Khan

Amanda Bynes in Marchesa

Teri Hatcher in Badgley Mischka

Marcia Cross in Monique Lhuillier

Jessica Alba in Gucci

Kate Hudson in Balmain

Groovy.

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system. And while this may not seem big, it can be. It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes. You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Once you start down the dark path...

What Kind of Soul Do You Retain?

Dark

You haven't lived an all-so-ahppy life, and it's taken it's toll. Malice and cynicsm rotate around all your thoughts, and you are always prepared for the worst.

Pray for Katie Holmes

Yea, look into her eyes, ladies and gentlemen...

Personally, I think it's a crime that Jenny McCarthy was denied an Academy Award nomination for BASEketball

I am not saying that just as a flimsy excuse to run this tease-y portrait of her, honestly.

bible-thumpers love to cite this little song-and-dance as proof that men who are attracted to other men are going to hell

Interestingly enough, it would seem that a loophole is at least implied for lesbians, which I'm sure will make many women's sports figures very happy.

But anyway, my old friend Steve-AKA Turner-who was, and presumably still is, as he put it, "an unabashed cocksucker," had the best answer.

He said, "I don't lie with men as with women. I don't try to have sex with women when I lie with them. No problem."

For this joke, I will need you to join me in a trip back to the 1950s. Thenk Yew.

Ahem. "I know, I know-but aren't they all?"

(art by Phil Noto, caption-and eternal, undying shame-by yours truly)

I can't accept that.

(It had been almost 70 days since I'd bashed the hated state of Tennessee...and you understand, I swore a vow...)

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